Catching Ducks

From an online discussion about whether it was okay to not allow kids to attend a wedding:


Kids at weddings: At my wedding, I had crayons and construction paper at the place settings for children five and under, seated with parents. Then all the teenaged (12-15) cousins were seated together at the opposite end of the hall from their parents.

I also arranged for apple juice to be served at the place settings with the crayons instead of champagne.

I forgot to instruct the caterer to make the drink substitution for the teen table.

The younger cousins thought it was gross, so the oldest cousin drank... um, six glasses.

I didn't realize what had happened until said fifteen year old started doing a mock tango with his grandmother. One of the four year olds drew a picture of this moment.

Moral: ALWAYS include the children.

Carolyn Hax: Sold.

Labels: random awesomeness

I told you I was going through a "Weird Al" phase...



p.s. At 2:10 there is a sign language interpreter in the bottom left corner, and yes, she's interpreting what he's singing.

Labels: music

From her twitter...


"So I see the Spurs pulling a Phoenix Mercury tonight.. Oh did I say that out loud -_- lol. carry on"

Labels: WNBA

I'm going through a bit of a "Weird Al" phase. From his debut album, the song "I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead":


I don't care about your karma
I don't care about what's hip
No space cadet's gonna tell me what to do
I won't swim in your jacuzzi
You can't make me settle down
I'd rather kick and jump and bite and scratch
And scream until I'm blue
I may as well be hyper as long as I'm still around
'Cause I'll have lots of time to be laid back
When I'm six feet underground

I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
When are you cosmic cowboys
Gonna get it through your heads?
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead

I can't stand the smell of incense
I don't really like to jog
No Joni Mitchell 8-tracks in my car
I hate anything organic
Even health food makes me sick
You won't catch me sipping Perrier
Down in some sushi bar
I tell you, now's the time to go for
All the gusto you can grab
You'll have plenty of time to be low-key
When you're laid out on the slab

I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
When are you cosmic cowboys
Gonna get it through your heads?
I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead

I don't want no part of that vegetarian scene
I won't buy me a pair of designer jeans
No redwood hot tub to my name
I got all that I want and if it's all the same to you
I don't need a course in self-awareness
To find out who I am
And I'd rather have a Big Mac or a Jumbo Jack
Than all the bean sprouts in Japan

So don't ask me what I'm into
I don't need to prove I'm cool
I'll break your arm if you ask me what's my sign
I won't tell you where my head's at
I don't need to see no shrink
Psychosis may be in this year
But I'm really not that kind
And I'm in no hurry to be casual
In fact, I think I'll wait
Until I'm pushing up the daisies
Like wow, man, can you relate?

I'll be mellow when I'm dead
I'll be mellow when I'm dead

Labels: music

Yes. I need this in my life:



[h/t Don't ever change]

Labels: music, Supernatural

I'm really enjoying reading Mark Watches's reactions to watching Dollhouse. (Probably because I agree with everything he says -- that makes him seem REEEEALLY smart and perceptive!) He's up to episode 1.11, "Briar Rose":


I CAN’T. I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS. I DON’T THINK I HAVE EVER BEEN SO UNFORTUNATELY UNPREPARED FOR A TELEVISION SHOW IN ALL MY LIFE. THIS SHOW WAS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS, AND EVERY TIME I GET CLOSER TO UNDERSTANDING DOLLHOUSE, THE RUG IS PULLED OUT FROM UNDERNEATH ME.

H E L P.

* This is, without a doubt, one of the most thrilling and tense hours of television I’ve experienced in the Mark Does Stuff universe. Like, this upstages some particularly frightening episodes of Battlestar Galactica, slaps [the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode] “Hush” in the face, laughs at the fourth hour of Torchwood: Children of Earth, and joins the league of The Prisoner or Breaking Bad when it comes to suspenseful television. I’m serious, this is one of the coolest science fiction stories I’ve come across, and I can barely wrap my head around what just happened.

* And look, I clearly enjoyed all three of Joss Whedon’s other shows, but since “Man on the Street,” this is the most consistent the man’s ever been. I also like the first five episodes, too, but Dollhouse really comes into form with this batch of episodes.

* Enver Gjokaj nearly steals the show. I can’t say he does this alone, because this episode also has Dichen Lackman and Alan Tudyk giving performances that are stunning and unreal. But I have to devote a bullet point to Enver’s truly inspiring acting. He is able to talk exactly like Dominic sounds. It’s eerie and unsettling. Did he and Daniel Day-Lewis make a pact with Satan? (Sorry, I just saw Lincoln the night before I’m writing this review, so he’s on my mind.) I think the casting agents should be given medals for this cast. And puppies. Give ‘em lots of puppies.

* Oh my god, I could not believe Paul Ballard’s story. I’m so heartbroken over his treatment of Mellie, despite that I know it was a way for him to get her to go back to the Dollhouse. And I know Mellie isn’t real, but Miracle Laurie plays her so fantastically that I’m confused by the whole thing. Should I feel so strongly for a programmed fantasy? I can’t help it!!!

* It’s weird thinking about Ballard breaking into the Dollhouse with Kepler because while I was watching it, it was both tense and hilarious. Kepler was the worst possible person to bring along for that mission, and I enjoyed Tudyk’s sense of comic timing. Except now, in hindsight, IT’S TERRIFYING. THAT’S ALPHA THE WHOLE TIME. God, I need to know so much more about Alpha right now. Was he the remains of an identity? Did he invent it himself? Did he take over Stephen Kepler’s life? I DON’T EVEN KNOW.

* Alpha’s reveal is seriously one of the most shocking things I’ve seen in any of Whedon’s shows. As soon as he cut up Victor’s face, it was unmistakable that Kepler was really Alpha the whole time. But there was a cue just before this: Dr. Saunders’s reaction. That really gave it away. My god, how is she going to cope with this? The man who slashed up her face nearly did it again.

Labels: Dollhouse

Misha Collins plays Castiel on Supernatural. He's a bit ... odd:


reporter: Is there anything that you geek out for that we might not know about?

Misha Collins: I'm pretty enthusiastic about kale.

Labels: Supernatural

This is never not funny:



"We got belt buckles and shoelaces and a piece of gum: Built a nuclear reactor, for crying out loud!"

Labels: scifi/fantasy

From tomorrow's strip. (Yes, tomorrow's. The magic of the internet!):


district manager: How were your sales over the weekend?

Marla: We barely made plan. It was chaos in here as usual, but sales were soft overall.

district manager: How can that be? We were open on Thanksgiving.

Marla: All that did was spread the shopping out over an extra day.

district manager: Hmm... What do you think would happen if we started a Black Wednesday tradition?

Marla: In a perfect world, an angry revolt... In reality, probably nothing.


p.s. This is my first Christmas season in a loooong time that I'm not working in a store. Let me tell you: I do NOT miss it.

Labels: comics

A 1963 description of the first series of Doctor Who, as posted on the Doctor Who Tumblr:


A series of fantastic adventures, Dr Who [sic] starts from AKTV-2 on Friday. Dr Who has a "way-out" plot -- not only because it is space fiction -- and for background it has radiophonic title music, electronic camera effects, weird sets and costumes.

The mysterious Dr Who (William Hartnell) takes off from earth in his space-time ship Tardis with his teenage grand-daughter (Carole Ann Ford) and her two school teachers. They first stop in the Paleolithic age, and for four episodes the travelers are involved in a battle between two cavemen whose tribe has lost the secret for making fire.

The voyagers escape from one set of problems to find themselves with another -- the Daleks, who are mutant survivors of a neutron war on a distant planet, and can only exist encased in metal machines. More adventures follow for the Tardis four.

Labels: Doctor Who

Labels: Community

From Ignorance, Thy Name Is Bucky, by Darby Conley.


Bucky: There's some stuff to report from while you were out. You want the bad news first?

Rob: No, I think I'll take the good news.

Bucky: There is no good news.

Rob: But you just said...

Bucky: I have bad news and I have the weather.

Labels: Get Fuzzy

From "Indigestion 2004":


[They're discussing Thanksgiving, and Simmons explains what a "turducken" is...]

Simmons: It's a chicken in a duck in a turkey.

Grif: Sounds awesome, is that what we're having?

Sarge: Nope. Although impressive, I decided they stopped short when designing the turducken.

Church: Yeah. They seem like real underachievers there.

Sarge: So I decided to make my own variety.

Church: What's that, a polecat stuffed in a possum?

Sarge: Nope, first we start with a hummingbird. Put that in a sparrow, stuff them both in a cornish hen, then put that in a chicken. Put all that in a duck, then a turkey, then in a bigger turkey.

Grif: Two turkeys?

Sarge: Hey, it's Thanksgiving. Put that in a penguin, stuff that in a peacock, then an eagle, shove it all in an albatross, then an emu, next comes an ostrich, then a leopard! Put all that in a pterodactyl, and then stuff it in a Boeing 747.

Church: [pause] Cool. I get a wing.

Simmons: I call the turbine!

Sarge: Alright! Hunker up, boys. Hey Grif! What kinda meat do you like? First class, or coach?

Church: You know if we cook this thing at three hundred and fifty degrees at ten minutes a pound, it's not gonna be done for 11 years.

Sarge: That's why we're going to deep fry.

Simmons: What was the leopard for?

Sarge: Presentation.

Labels: holidays, Red vs. Blue

From "Our 'Cops' is on" (2.07):


[Early drives up in a police car.]

Joy: Earl! What the hell are you doing?

Earl: You said you wanted a date night, didn't you? Well, your chariot awaits.

Joy: You stole me a police car?

Earl: Yep. There's a hostage in the back, too. If you say something scary, he'll show you pictures of his kids. They're cute.

Labels: My Name Is Earl

Recently the hosts of the ESPN show "NFL Kickoff" quoted the completely awesome (and totally NOT sports related) movie The Princess Bride. A lot:




[h/t Jezebel]

Labels: movies, sports

From "The (Very) Big Bird Job" (5.01):


Sophie: Why are you happy about this?

Parker: We're here.

Sophie: Yeah, I know, we're here, get used to it.

Parker: No, I mean, we're all here.

Sophie: Oh. That's sweet.

Parker: Yeah, me and my money, Hardison and Eliot, Nate and you...

Sophie: Parker, why does the money always come before the people?

Labels: Leverage

From "A Scandal in Belgravia" (2.1):


Sherlock: Punch me in the face.

John: Punch you?

Sherlock: Yes, punch me. In the face. Didn't you hear me?

John: I always hear "punch me in the face" when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.

Labels: Sherlock

From "Been There, Done That" (3.02), their "Groundhog Day" episode. I'd type it out, but it really only works because of Lucy Lawless's delivery. Thankfully some kind soul put the exact bit I wanted on YouTube:

Labels: Xena

Mark Watches is a website where Mark watches full runs of TV shows and reviews them. Recently he started watching Dollhouse -- one of my all-time favorite shows. When he reviewed episode 1.05 (True Believer), he liked the show, but was yearning for something more than the self-contained plots that the first five episodes had.

I thought to myself, "Dude, just wait for the next episode. Episode 1.06 will make your brain explode." And, indeed, it did.

From his review of "Man on the Street":


THE PLOT. OH MY GOD, THE PLOT TWISTS.

Honestly, there’s so much to like about “Man on the Street,” but the story really comes together in this episode. All of this happens IN ONE STORY:

* Ballard meets Caroline/Echo.
* Ballard definitively learns that the Dollhouse is 100% real.
* Ballard FIGHTS Echo.
* Echo reveals that there’s an insider within the Dollhouse willing to be a whistleblower for Ballard because THERE IS SOMETHING WORSE THAN THE DOLLHOUSE IN THE WORKS.
* We learn there are 20 (!!!!!!) Dollhouses around the world. TWENTY!!!!
* Hearn is murdered.
* By Mellie.
* WHO WAS AN ACTIVE THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME.
* NO WHAT THE FUCK, SHE IS SO GREAT AND I LOVED HER AND SHE WAS JUST GETTING INTO ALL THIS CUTENESS WITH BALLARD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME
* oh god SHOULD I JUST ASSUME EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING ACTIVE. THIS IS SCARING ME.
* BALLARD IS SUSPENDED FROM THE F.B.I. HE’S GOING TO LET THE DOLLHOUSE WIN. OH MY GOD.

Labels: Dollhouse

There is a Doctor Who Christmas Special prequel:




And there is a Doctor Who Christmas Special trailer:

Labels: Doctor Who

From "Better Than Life" (2.2):


[Rimmer cooked dinner. The rest of the crew was not impressed.]

Lister: Rimmer, real dumplings, proper dumplings, when they are properly cooked to perfection, proper dumplings should not bounce!

Rimmer: True, but after the way I thought they were going to turn out, they were quite superb!

Lister: So how's the Cat?

Rimmer: Oh, he's just sleeping off the stomach pump. He'll be alright. The lamb was a bit of a flop though.

Lister: The lamb!? Everyone thought the lamb was the cheese! And that lemon meringue pie, man, what was in that?

Rimmer: I thought you liked that? You bought some back.

Lister: Yeah... I wanted to try some out on my athlete's foot!

Labels: Red Dwarf

I am really looking forward to this episode:



"I was being 'bad cop'."
"You were being bad everything."

Labels: Supernatural

Carolyn Hax, an advice columnist, has weekly chats. This came from the chat on 12/11/2009:


question: Was hoping you could settle a "discussion": Is it wrong to get away from the family for a few hours and gamble on Christmas day, at the casino?

Carolyn Hax: Since putting "discussion" in quotation marks suggests a problem, "get away from the family" suggests a problem, and "gamble on Christmas day" suggests a problem, I'm just going to skip the part about right and wrong, and say that this getaway isn't going to solve any problems. (Unless your problem is that you have too much money. That's a problem casinos are very good at solving.)

Labels: random silliness

I saw it on HoneyBee:


mom: did you eat all the donuts

me: no

mom: why are you lying to me i can see all the powder on your pants

me: thats cocaine

Labels: random silliness

Castiel really struggles with phones, poor thing:

Labels: Supernatural

From the movie, Serenity:


Mal: [River] is a mite unpredictable. Mood swings, of a sort.

The Operative: It's worse than you know.

Mal: It usually is.

Labels: Firefly

From this post from near the end of the WNBA season:


"It was hard to find many meaningful implications in yesterday’s WNBA games. The playoff matchups and schedule were already decided, almost anyone with the slightest injury or sniffle was being given the night off, and much of the basketball was less than scintillating. But when you’ve stood firm through the first 93 days of the WNBA season, it would be frankly ridiculous to quit on the antepenultimate night. Especially when it gives you an excuse to use the thoroughly pointless word ‘antepenultimate’."

Labels: WNBA

I watched the Huskies game yesterday and the Seahawks game today. (Obviously I'm good luck. You're welcome.)

Fun games, but I feel the need for some basketball. UConn's first televised game isn't until next week, so how about a video from a few years ago of Lauren Jackson playing in the Australian league:

Labels: Seattle Storm

Found here:


"TOUCHDOWN Seahawks. Golden Tate to Sindey Rice from 23 yards out. Yes you read that right. Golden Tate to Sidney Rice. Seahawks 28, Jets 7"

Labels: Seattle Seahawks

From "An Eye For An Eye (1.14):


Vecchio: Give me the bat!

kid: No!

Vecchio: Come on! Now be a good kid, and give the detective the bat.

kid: No! I found it. Get your own!

Vecchio: Give it!

kid: No!

Fraser: Ray. Ray. Now, children are just like people, only smaller. All you have to do is reason with them. [crouches down] Now, son, that bat is important evidence in a criminal investigation, and we'd be most grateful if you'd cooperate.

kid: A hundred bucks!

Fraser: I see. Ray?

Vecchio: Okay, kid -- can you spell "penitentiary"? Let's try it together: P-E-N-

kid: Okay! Here!

Labels: Due South

Maybe I'll be able to find it online...



p.s. What has my life become !?!?!?!??

Labels: UConn basketball

From "The Mile High Job" (1.08):


[Sophie and Nate are pretending to be married.]

Nate: Let's keep it simple, use our own back story. Our wedding day's the day we met, which means we've been married for...

[In unison.]

Sophie: Ten years.

Nate: Eight years.

Sophie: You don't remember when we met?

Nate: No, of course I do. I was just rounding it off.

Sophie: By subtracting two years?

Labels: Leverage

I find this really soothing:


[h/t Etiquette Hell]

Labels: random awesomeness

From "Some Assembly Required" (2.07):


Sketchy: Back when [Zack] was a Jam Pony [messenger], [he] showed me some tight shortcuts through downtown. Helped me shave hours off my workday.

Max: Giving you extra time to nap and get high.

Sketchy: Precisely.

Labels: Dark Angel

From "Mommy Dearest" (6.19):


Dean: There's one way to draw her out. Me and Sam will go in [to the monster's lair].

Bobby: Dean!

Dean: Look, if we don't get a shot off, you [and Castiel] better.

Bobby: That's the plan?

Dean: Yeah. Pretty much.

Bobby: Well, at least it ain't complicated.

Labels: Supernatural

I never watched Criminal Minds (is it still on??), but this scene is hysterical:

Labels: TV

In honor of the election... From Dumbheart, by Darby Conley:


Satchel: Bucky, you're a Republican, you'll like this: how many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows! They won't release the information! Ha ha ha!

Bucky: Oh yeah? Well, how many degenerate liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Satchel: Well, with the proper funding --

Bucky: They never change anything, they just cry over the broken bulb!

Rob: Hey, hey, hey, settle down in there.

Satchel: I'm sorry, Rob, there's no room in this discussion for another party.

Bucky: How many 3rd partyers does it take to change a bulb? We'll never know...

Labels: Get Fuzzy, politics

Lauren Jackson is rehabbing in Australia, and it sounds like she's pretty frustrated with her injuries. Also, how cute is it that she's identified as "Lauren Jackson, basketballer"!

Labels: Seattle Storm

Yet another Doctor Who reference on Leverage:

Labels: Doctor Who, Leverage

Chris Kluwe is the punter for the Minnesota Vikings. Until today, he also blogged for the "Pioneer Press", which is (I'm assuming) a Minnesota newspaper. He quit today because they printed an editorial about Minnesota's marriage amendment that claimed to be neutral, but he felt was actually pro-marriage amendment. To be clear: He's furious that they lied about being neutral, not that they disagree with him. At any rate, he had some good stuff to say:


How does this piece lie? It lies by ignoring Supreme Court precedent, that separate is not equal. “Opponents of the measure are clear that they do not want to settle for a civil union status that would guarantee the same rights and privileges to same-sex unions that are given to traditional marriages. It is ‘marriage’ that they want. In effect, a union by any other name is not as sweet.”

Yes, how dare those gay people insist on the same respect, the same dignity, the same acknowledgment heterosexual couples receive? How dare they think having to settle for a “civil union” isn’t good enough? How dare they they think that separate is not, in fact, equal? To present the idea that somehow opponents of the amendment should be grateful for what scraps they’re lucky to get is not neutral. Frankly, it’s disgustingly reminiscent of segregation articles from the 1960’s; discrimination wrapped in a tissue paper veil of “tolerance” and “why can’t they be happy with what they have?”

Labels: GLBT

From "Recreation":


Sarge: Where is he?

Grif: He's downstairs working on your holographic simulatron, or whatever you call it.

Sarge: Excellent work, Private Grif!

Grif: Wow! Thanks, sir.

Sarge: I'll recommend you for a shiny medal!

Grif: Okay, you're being sarcastic right now, aren't you?

Sarge: Oh, absolutely! Wait -- was your question sarcastic?

Grif: Who knows? Probably? Unless... Wait, are you being sarcastic right now by asking that?

Sarge: Hmmm... Maybe we should drop this conversation.

Labels: Red vs. Blue

Anyone else remember this? I have been singing 1-12 that way for decades...

Labels: nostalgia

From Ignorance, Thy Name Is Bucky, by Darby Conley:


[Rob finds out Bucky is making Satchel work for him.]

Rob: Did you hear me? I said Satchel no longer works for you.

Bucky: Beat it, pink stuff. Virginia moose!

Rob: Dude, for the last ... um ... what moose?

Bucky: Be off, young pinky! Virginia moose!

Rob: What the ... ? Ohhh, you mean VA-moose? Ha ha ha! "Virginia moose"!

Bucky: Scram, pinkish!

Rob: Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Keep your pants Ontario! Don't have a Colorado-w, man!

Labels: Get Fuzzy

I got Season 1 from the library. It holds up pretty well!

From "Always Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth" (1.06):


Francine: I could have married royalty. A prince proposed to me once.

Billy: Why didn't you accept?

Francine: His country was too small.

Labels: Scarecrow and Mrs. King

From episode 1.22:


Brian: [I'm] too old.

Lindsay: Oh, so you're thirty, I know. It's so dramatic, but it is something we all go through -- if you're lucky enough to live that long -- but to carry on like it's the end of your life?

Brian: It is.

Lindsay: It's the begining! A whole new way of thinking about yourself, feeling a whole new sense of accomplishment.

Brian: That's from the 'La Jeunesse' anti-aging commercial; I wrote that fucking copy!

Lindsay: Oh...

Labels: queer as folk