Catching Ducks

Ani DiFranco, "Blood in the Boardroom":


sitting in the boardroom
the I'm-so-bored room
listening to the suits
talk about their world
they can make straight lines
out of almost anything
except for the line
of my upper lip when it curls

dressed in my best greasy skin
and squinty eyes
I'm the only part of summer here
that made it inside
in the air-conditioned building
decorated with corporate flair
I wonder
can these boys smell me bleeding
though my underwear?


there's men wearing the blood
of the women they love
there's white wearing the blood of the brown
but every woman learns to bleed from the moon
and we bleed to renew life
every time it's cut down

I got my vertebrae all stacked up
as high as they go
I but I still feel myself sliding
from the earth that I know
so I excuse myself and leave the room
say my period came early
but it's not a minute too soon


I go and find the only other woman on the floor
it's the secretary sitting at the desk by the door
I ask her if she's got a tampon I could use
she says
oh honey, what a hassle for you
sure I do
you know I do

I say
it ain't no hassle, no, it ain't no mess
right now it's the only power
that I possess
these businessmen got the money
they got the instruments of death
but I can make life
I can make breath


sitting in the boardroom
the I'm-so-bored room
listening to the suits talk about their world
I didn't really have much to say
the whole time I was there
so I just left a big brown bloodstain
on their white chair

Labels: ani difranco

Doctor Who!!!



Mickey: It's a spaceship! Brilliant! I got a spaceship on my first [trip]!

Rose: It looks kind of abandoned. Anyone on board?

The Doctor: Nah. There's nothing here. Well, nothing dangerous. Well, not that dangerous. [pause] You know, I'll just have a quick scan, in case of anything dangerous.

Labels: Doctor Who

I love this site.

Labels: random awesomeness

We're a few weeks into the new TV season, so I thought I'd give an update to my reviews:



Heroes

This one is definitely growing on me. Each week's episode has been better than the last. Hooray, a fun new show!


Smith

Cancelled! Which happily relieved me of the trouble of deciding whether or not to keep watching.


Jericho

Not brilliant, but enjoyable. Shockingly enough, other people agree with me. I've heard it's been picked up for a full season.


The Nine

I couldn't make it past the second episode. It's just so .... uninteresting.


Ugly Betty

I've decided not to watch this one. It feels forced. Plus, I've never enjoyed watching people get humiliated. I might catch bits of it between My Name Is Earl and C.S.I., but I'm not going to set my VCR.



In conclusion, Veronica Mars is awesome. If you're not watching it, you should.

Labels: TV, Veronica Mars

In honor of Red vs. Blue's fifth season, a quote from the 80th episode:



[Church calls Vic]

Vic: Hey dude!

Church: Vic! Hey, it's Church.

Vic: This is Vic at 555-VICK. I'm not here right now so leave your lowdown at the ding dong.

[beep]

Church: Hey Vic, this is Church. I need to--

voice mail: [woman's voice] You have reached the voicemail system.

Church: [sighs] Ok, ok, c'mon...

voice mail: To leave a message, just wait for the tone.

Church: I know how to leave a goddamn message!

voice mail: When you are finished recording, just hang up. Or press pound for more options.

Church: Really? Hang up? No shit. I was just going to keep talking until he decided to check his voicemail.

voice mail: For delivery options, press 5.

Church: Just give me the damn beep!!

voice mail: To leave a call back number, press 8. To page this person, press 6.

Church: COME ON!

voice mail: To repeat this message, press 9.

Church: I will fucking stab you, computer phone lady!

voice mail: To mark this message as "urgent", press 11.

Church: There is no 11, you fucking whore!!

Labels: Red vs. Blue

I don't pay much attention to fashion, so I must have missed the memo about wearing your sweatpants inside out...

Labels: clothes

Red vs. Blue is back!

Labels: Red vs. Blue

Anyone remember Due South?


Fraser Sr.: Hello, son.
Fraser [warily]: Hello, Dad, how are you?
Fraser Sr.: I'm dead, son. Other than that do you mean?
Fraser: No, that's what I was asking.
Fraser Sr.: Well, that's good. Never be ashamed to ask a stupid question, son.

Labels: Due South

There were several new shows I wanted to try this fall: Heroes, Smith, Jericho, The Nine, and Ugly Betty. In the past I've limited my choices, but now I try anything I think might enjoyable. I call this the "Now and Again" rule. (When Now and Again premiered, there were several other shows I wanted to try, so I decided not to watch it. Two months later, I came across an episode and said, "Hey, this is good. Way better than those other shows! Too bad I missed a bunch of episodes...") This year I have added the "Veronica Mars" corrollary to my rule, which is why I gave Ugly Betty a chance. (Veronica Mars was a show that I heard was great, but I didn't think would interest me. Two years later I watched the DVDs and fell madly in love with it. I've seen all the eps, but I'm kicking myself for not getting in on the ground floor.)

So, here's my reviews:


Heroes

Fun. A nice large cast, which I like. Large ensembles shows (like Lost) mean that I don't have time to get truly fed up with potentially annoying characters. Superpowers are always fun. It's got kind of a pompous "They will avert the apocalypse.... dun dun DUN!" thing going, but I don't mind it so much. I'll keep watching.

One of the characters is Japanese and speaks very little English. I read a review that wondered if viewers could handle a non-English-speaking character. But Lost has a character that only speaks Korean, and viewers don't have a problem with that! I started wondering if the Heroes people were willing to take a chance on the Japanese-speaking character because of the Korean characters on Lost.


Smith

As I was saying to my mom the other day, I'd rather watch the good guys than the bad guys. So if I'm going to watch people wearing trenchcoats and sunglasses, talking on hidden radios, and blowing stuff up, I'd rather watch, say, the spies from MI-5 than the thieves of Smith. However...... there's some serious HoYay going on. Cannot... resist.... the....HoYay! Aarggh! Maybe I'll just fast-forward through the other characters' scenes...


Jericho

It's dark and not that well written. But I'm a sucker for a post-apocalyptic story. (And one of the minor characters is deaf!) I'll keep watching until they cancel it. (Which will probably be soon.)


The Nine

I'm not sure what I think about this one. The idea is intriguing and the acting is sound, but for some reason it didn't grab me. I want to know what happened/happens, but I'm not sure I can see myself watching it every week.


Ugly Betty

I had every intention of disliking this show. Hollywood's idea of a "fat" "ugly" girl is just... offensive. (Especially to an actual fat girl like me.) Despite my plans, I didn't hate it. It's not going to be a oh-my-gosh-I-can't-miss-an-episode show for me, but I really enjoyed the relationship between Betty and her boss.


Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

I didn't plan on watching this one, but Bravo re-airs the episodes right after Project Runway, so I've caught some of it. My verdict: Self-indulgent crap. Someone (cough cough, Aaron Sorkin, cough cough) thinks waaaayy to highly of himself. Ick.



One final note: Veronica Mars is awesome. If you're not watching it, you should.

Labels: TV, Veronica Mars

I'm going old school this week, with two strips of the comic "Bloom County" by Berke Breathed. Milo the reporter is calling Senator Bedfellow:


Milo: Hello, Senator. I'm working on my first news story and I'd like you to confirm something... Did you say, quote, "I paid them 50 grand to sink Hoffa in the Potomac"?

Senator Bedfellow: WHAT?!

Milo: Then you don't deny ever saying that?

Senator Bedfellow: Yes!

Milo: Then you admit confirming not denying you ever said that?

Senator Bedfellow: No! I mean yes! What?

Milo: I'll put "maybe".


[later]

Milo: Senator? This is Milo Bloom at the "Beacon". Will you confirm that you sunk Jimmy Hoffa in your backyard pond?

Senator Bedfellow: What? Of course not!

Milo: Fine. I'll go with "Sen. Bedfellow denies that pond is where he sunk Hoffa.

Senator Bedfellow: That's not true!

Milo: Okay. "Bedfellow did sink Hoffa in pond."

Senator Bedfellow: I DON'T KNOW where Hoffa is!!

Milo: "'I lost the body' says Bedfellow."



[And one more, just for fun:]


Mrs. Billsby: Hello? "Bloom Beacon"?

Milo: Hello, Mrs. Billsby. How's the arthritis?

Mrs. Billsby: Fine, dear. But you folks printed that I died.

Milo: Impossible. We don't make mistakes on the obituary page, Mrs. Billsby.

Mrs. Billsby: But I'm looking at it right here.

Milo: Okay... Find some good light and read it to me slowly.

Mrs. Billsby: "Billsby slashes four, dies in cocaine brawl"

Milo: That's the front page, Mrs. Billsby.

Labels: comics

I went ahead and deep-fried some cookies.

Thanks to some tips from Tofutti Cutie, the deep-frying went ok. I didn't burn my building down, and I didn't burn myself (badly).

However....

Something went wrong with the dough. I don't know if I kneaded it too much or too little. Or was it a conversion problem? The recipe was in grams. I had to convert to pounds, then to cups. I did all the calculations twice, but maybe I messed up.

I was supposed to roll out the dough, cut it up, then fry the strips. I ended up frying blobs of dough. Tasted ok, though.

Labels: food