30 January 2014
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
From Fugs and Pieces: January 24, 2014:
"You need to know that I originally dated this post '2012.' That’s not even LAST year. So I think I need a nap. While I take one, please enjoy the following..."
"You need to know that I originally dated this post '2012.' That’s not even LAST year. So I think I need a nap. While I take one, please enjoy the following..."
Labels: The Fug Girls
03 October 2012
Quote of the Day: Go Fug Yourself
From this post about some actress I hadn't heard of, either:
She is, to me, one of those people about whom Vogue will wax poetic while I think to myself, “am I supposed to know who this is?” Now, in her case, that’s not really fair: she’s been in plenty of movies, I just haven’t seen them, and her face doesn’t really stick in my head. There are many, many people featured in Vogue for whom the answer to, “am I supposed to know who this is?” is and always will be “unless your job involves doing the seating chart for a variety of New York-area functions, no.” Like, I know I am getting off track here, but how is it possible that Vogue still really thinks I should be kept apprised of what their favorite socialite-dermatologist is wearing? They are always yapping about, like, two very specific lady dermatologists and I am SURE those women are well-dressed and I wish them the best, but unless they are curing my skin diseases or fixing my wrinkles, I really don’t care. And if Vogue is going to focus on The Well-Dressed Dermatologists of the World, I bet you $100 there’s a woman in Boston who can prescribe Retin-A and is wearing some amazing shoes today. Like, there is a world beyond the island of Manhattan, Vogue. Anyway.
She is, to me, one of those people about whom Vogue will wax poetic while I think to myself, “am I supposed to know who this is?” Now, in her case, that’s not really fair: she’s been in plenty of movies, I just haven’t seen them, and her face doesn’t really stick in my head. There are many, many people featured in Vogue for whom the answer to, “am I supposed to know who this is?” is and always will be “unless your job involves doing the seating chart for a variety of New York-area functions, no.” Like, I know I am getting off track here, but how is it possible that Vogue still really thinks I should be kept apprised of what their favorite socialite-dermatologist is wearing? They are always yapping about, like, two very specific lady dermatologists and I am SURE those women are well-dressed and I wish them the best, but unless they are curing my skin diseases or fixing my wrinkles, I really don’t care. And if Vogue is going to focus on The Well-Dressed Dermatologists of the World, I bet you $100 there’s a woman in Boston who can prescribe Retin-A and is wearing some amazing shoes today. Like, there is a world beyond the island of Manhattan, Vogue. Anyway.
Labels: The Fug Girls
15 May 2012
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
From The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge Attend BAFTA Brits To Watch Event:
"Oh, William. We were not going to ignore you. You look very handsome in a tux (a tux is hard to screw up). Also: now might be the time to note that the shorter hair is flattering and the best way to handle your Balding Situation. Don't stress: there is many a Hot Baldie in the world. Look at country-man Patrick Stewart! (Who I just called, before I fixed it, 'Jean-Luc Picard,' and then I said to myself, 'that's a FRENCH name. Is he FRENCH? Oh. Wait. No. He's FICTIONAL.' NOTHING TO SEE HERE.)"
"Oh, William. We were not going to ignore you. You look very handsome in a tux (a tux is hard to screw up). Also: now might be the time to note that the shorter hair is flattering and the best way to handle your Balding Situation. Don't stress: there is many a Hot Baldie in the world. Look at country-man Patrick Stewart! (Who I just called, before I fixed it, 'Jean-Luc Picard,' and then I said to myself, 'that's a FRENCH name. Is he FRENCH? Oh. Wait. No. He's FICTIONAL.' NOTHING TO SEE HERE.)"
Labels: Star Trek, The Fug Girls
20 January 2012
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
From their post about Michelle Williams's Golden Globes outfit:
"And I like the weight of it, and the way it moves. Now, that being said: Do I wish it gave her more of a waist? Yes. Do I suspect she doesn't have a very well-defined waist? From years of seeing her, yes. Do I personally share that affliction? To my endless irritation. So do I sympathize? I do. Do I ever think about doing that Cher operation where they remove a rib to give you a waist? Totally. Do I think that is totally insane? Obviously. So do I understand the need to make your clothes give you what your body didn't? Absolutely. All that aside, do I think this is very pretty? I actually think I do. Do I think she needed the headband? Not entirely. Am I in love with her red nails? Totally. AM I EVER GOING TO STOP ASKING MYSELF QUESTIONS AND THEN ANSWERING THEM? Probably not. Sorry."
"And I like the weight of it, and the way it moves. Now, that being said: Do I wish it gave her more of a waist? Yes. Do I suspect she doesn't have a very well-defined waist? From years of seeing her, yes. Do I personally share that affliction? To my endless irritation. So do I sympathize? I do. Do I ever think about doing that Cher operation where they remove a rib to give you a waist? Totally. Do I think that is totally insane? Obviously. So do I understand the need to make your clothes give you what your body didn't? Absolutely. All that aside, do I think this is very pretty? I actually think I do. Do I think she needed the headband? Not entirely. Am I in love with her red nails? Totally. AM I EVER GOING TO STOP ASKING MYSELF QUESTIONS AND THEN ANSWERING THEM? Probably not. Sorry."
Labels: The Fug Girls
28 November 2011
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
From Fug and Fab — Except Really Just Fug, If We’re Being Honest — the ARIA Awards: Zoe Badwi:
Apparently Zoe here is another singer/songwriter/model/actress/whatever, who has been hoarding all the material people could have used to line their own skirts. Unkind, Zoe. Unkind. But the very best part about her Wikipedia page is this: "While filming the music video for the song, a resident in the street where the clip was filmed fired a catapault at Badwi, who was unharmed. It is not known whether her singing was a motive for the attack." SHE WAS ATTACKED BY A CATAPULT. Holy. Australians do not mess around.
Apparently Zoe here is another singer/songwriter/model/actress/whatever, who has been hoarding all the material people could have used to line their own skirts. Unkind, Zoe. Unkind. But the very best part about her Wikipedia page is this: "While filming the music video for the song, a resident in the street where the clip was filmed fired a catapault at Badwi, who was unharmed. It is not known whether her singing was a motive for the attack." SHE WAS ATTACKED BY A CATAPULT. Holy. Australians do not mess around.
Labels: The Fug Girls
19 October 2011
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
I love that 1) Sarah Michelle Gellar knows about Go Fug Yourself, 2) she gets the humor/point of the website, and 3) she's nice.
From their recap of an episode of Ringer:
Not long after last week’s Ringer post, in which we speculated that SMG’s [Sarah Michelle Gellar] clothes were kind of heinous and big because they were full of fetal secrets [i.e. that she, the actress, is pregnant], we got a truly lovely e-mail from the lady herself in which she a) was totally classy and awesome; b) said we are NOT, in fact, headed for some episodes of the show where both her characters do nothing but sit behind desks and carry potted plants (as in, not prego); c) reassured us that brighter wardrobe days are ahead; and d) told us not to pull our punches, regardless. And when Kendall Hart 1.0 essentially asks us to keep being Rich Twin/Poor Twin’s Get-A-Grip friend, we feel compelled to oblige, even — nay, especially — if it means being brutally honest about what dumpy hellfire Rich Twin is wearing in the last shot of the episode.
From their recap of an episode of Ringer:
Not long after last week’s Ringer post, in which we speculated that SMG’s [Sarah Michelle Gellar] clothes were kind of heinous and big because they were full of fetal secrets [i.e. that she, the actress, is pregnant], we got a truly lovely e-mail from the lady herself in which she a) was totally classy and awesome; b) said we are NOT, in fact, headed for some episodes of the show where both her characters do nothing but sit behind desks and carry potted plants (as in, not prego); c) reassured us that brighter wardrobe days are ahead; and d) told us not to pull our punches, regardless. And when Kendall Hart 1.0 essentially asks us to keep being Rich Twin/Poor Twin’s Get-A-Grip friend, we feel compelled to oblige, even — nay, especially — if it means being brutally honest about what dumpy hellfire Rich Twin is wearing in the last shot of the episode.
Labels: The Fug Girls
02 August 2011
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
From this post:
I have been informed that, although I was under the impression she was British, Sophie Monk here is actually Australian:
The feedback from our British readers was somewhere along the lines of, "We're already got Jordan, please don't make us take her too," and the feedback from the Australians was something like, "We hate to claim her, but claim her we must." So I welcome the occasion to correct the record. I also welcome the occasion to tell Sophie that if your cutoffs look like diapers, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
I have been informed that, although I was under the impression she was British, Sophie Monk here is actually Australian:
The feedback from our British readers was somewhere along the lines of, "We're already got Jordan, please don't make us take her too," and the feedback from the Australians was something like, "We hate to claim her, but claim her we must." So I welcome the occasion to correct the record. I also welcome the occasion to tell Sophie that if your cutoffs look like diapers, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
Labels: The Fug Girls
16 June 2011
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
From Go Fug Yourself, a "Well Played" for Kate Middleton, with a soap-y twist:
"This [picture], I just like because she's so pretty, and the kid is so cute, and Harry looks SO PLOTTY. If this were a soap opera, this would be the shot right before Harry turned away from the group and soliloquized, 'THEY WILL PAY. THEY WILL ALL PAY, WHEN MY SECRET PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD BY CREATING A MASTER RACE OF GINGER POLO PLAYERS SUCCEEDS. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.'
In real life, I presume he's actually just thinking, like, 'I can't believe me DVR didn't record the most recent Real Housewives reunion. TIVO AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE WORDS. NO ONE KEEPS HARRY FROM ANDY COHEN.'"
"This [picture], I just like because she's so pretty, and the kid is so cute, and Harry looks SO PLOTTY. If this were a soap opera, this would be the shot right before Harry turned away from the group and soliloquized, 'THEY WILL PAY. THEY WILL ALL PAY, WHEN MY SECRET PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD BY CREATING A MASTER RACE OF GINGER POLO PLAYERS SUCCEEDS. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.'
In real life, I presume he's actually just thinking, like, 'I can't believe me DVR didn't record the most recent Real Housewives reunion. TIVO AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE WORDS. NO ONE KEEPS HARRY FROM ANDY COHEN.'"
Labels: The Fug Girls
22 February 2011
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
From this post about Rihanna:
"Apparently, just like her bestie Katy Perry, Rihanna also has a perfume coming out. Hers is called Reb’l Fleur and apparently it smells like missing letters and apostrophes."
"Apparently, just like her bestie Katy Perry, Rihanna also has a perfume coming out. Hers is called Reb’l Fleur and apparently it smells like missing letters and apostrophes."
Labels: The Fug Girls
16 October 2010
Quote of the Day: The Fug Girls
From this column on a Mischa Barton outfit:
"I think it means that, deep down, I still want the best for poor Mischa, poor little Marissa Cooper, who touched us all so much that she had that bitchin' hissy on The OC and threw all her mom's patio furniture in the pool. (Parenthetically, why would someone do that to Julie Cooper Nichol? Julie Cooper Nichol is AWESOME. She once appeared on an episode wearing a shirt that I own and, unlike the times when Liz Lemon pops up in something I also have and I get concerned about myself, that made me feel like such a bad-ass that I went out and started hitting on underage pool boys.)"
"I think it means that, deep down, I still want the best for poor Mischa, poor little Marissa Cooper, who touched us all so much that she had that bitchin' hissy on The OC and threw all her mom's patio furniture in the pool. (Parenthetically, why would someone do that to Julie Cooper Nichol? Julie Cooper Nichol is AWESOME. She once appeared on an episode wearing a shirt that I own and, unlike the times when Liz Lemon pops up in something I also have and I get concerned about myself, that made me feel like such a bad-ass that I went out and started hitting on underage pool boys.)"
Labels: The Fug Girls, The O.C.
06 July 2010
Quote of the Day: Heather from GFY
I love the Fug Girls (Heather & Jessica) over at Go Fug Yourself. Yesterday I discovered Heather's personal blog. Here's a quote from a post discussing her husband's habit of "sleep-talking":
"Kevin talks in his sleep. No, wait, that's not accurate. Kevin's sleep state, at times, is really just an alternate reality: He'll look awake and he'll act awake, but the guy is not awake. Not when it's 3 a.m. and he leaps out of bed to put on pants because he thinks he has to get to work, or he jolts awake and starts trying to find the spider he KNOWS is in our bed. That one was fun."
"Kevin talks in his sleep. No, wait, that's not accurate. Kevin's sleep state, at times, is really just an alternate reality: He'll look awake and he'll act awake, but the guy is not awake. Not when it's 3 a.m. and he leaps out of bed to put on pants because he thinks he has to get to work, or he jolts awake and starts trying to find the spider he KNOWS is in our bed. That one was fun."
Labels: random silliness, The Fug Girls
22 May 2009
Quote of the Week
I love the Fug Girls. I especially love their war with celebrities about tights/leggings. Their position: Tights aren't pants. (Many celebs are confused about this.)
Recently Lindsay Lohan managed to go out in public NOT wearing tights. Unfortunately, she didn't put pants on, either:
"Oh, Lindsay. When I repeatedly IMPLORED you to leave the leggings by the wayside, I meant that you should THEN PUT SOMETHING ELSE ON THE LOWER HALF OF YOUR BODY. Not that you ought to run all over the place in what are, for all intents and purposes, basically undies. I know you are in Hawaii. But Hawaii is not an alien planet where all the rules of polite society can be safely ignored. In fact, it actually is part of the United States of America. And, like the rest of Earth, it is peopled with human beings, the majority of whom are not visually impaired. You are in the parking lot of a mini-mall. You are not on the beach, at the pool, in your hotel room or your backyard or your own balcony. Those are the ONLY PLACES that we, as a society, have agreed that it is okay not to wear bottoms. You are not trotting across resort property to grab a daiquiri and a club sandwich. You are in a public place. I guess Dina never taught you this, but when you go to the Ritz Camera for a new memory card, you NEED TO WEAR PANTS. Or shorts. Or a sarong. OR SOMETHING. WE EARTHLINGS HAVE SEEN ENOUGH OF YOUR INNER THIGHS. PLEASE RELEASE US FROM THIS NEVER-ENDING CYCLE OF PANTLESSNESS."
Recently Lindsay Lohan managed to go out in public NOT wearing tights. Unfortunately, she didn't put pants on, either:
"Oh, Lindsay. When I repeatedly IMPLORED you to leave the leggings by the wayside, I meant that you should THEN PUT SOMETHING ELSE ON THE LOWER HALF OF YOUR BODY. Not that you ought to run all over the place in what are, for all intents and purposes, basically undies. I know you are in Hawaii. But Hawaii is not an alien planet where all the rules of polite society can be safely ignored. In fact, it actually is part of the United States of America. And, like the rest of Earth, it is peopled with human beings, the majority of whom are not visually impaired. You are in the parking lot of a mini-mall. You are not on the beach, at the pool, in your hotel room or your backyard or your own balcony. Those are the ONLY PLACES that we, as a society, have agreed that it is okay not to wear bottoms. You are not trotting across resort property to grab a daiquiri and a club sandwich. You are in a public place. I guess Dina never taught you this, but when you go to the Ritz Camera for a new memory card, you NEED TO WEAR PANTS. Or shorts. Or a sarong. OR SOMETHING. WE EARTHLINGS HAVE SEEN ENOUGH OF YOUR INNER THIGHS. PLEASE RELEASE US FROM THIS NEVER-ENDING CYCLE OF PANTLESSNESS."
Labels: The Fug Girls
26 June 2008
Quote of the Week
The Fug Girls have the best stories. And this one's about Reba McEntire!
So, I have a strange fondness for Joanna Garcia here, probably because I used to find myself accidentally sucked into Reba, like, more that I ought to have been. I would feel worse about that, except for the fact that nearly everyone I know has admitted being accidentally sucked into watching Reba on occasion, and, besides, everyone knows that Reba McEntire is one of those celebrities who doesn't seem particularly hip but is in fact technically awesome. I mean, I know we've talked about this video here before.
And I may have mentioned that I had a rather amusing semi-in-person encounter with her once. Namely, I had been drinking. As had my friends. And for some reason we decided we needed to go to Kinkos. To copy something. So we drunkenly traipsed over to the Kinkos, which is on a very well-trafficked corner. And it was closed. And while my friends were peering inside to make sure it was really, really, really, really closed, I was sort of standing on the corner staring blankly into the street and a very fancy Porsche drives up and stops right in front of me at the stoplight. And Reba McEntire is sitting in the passenger seat and she looks over and sees me drunkenly staring at her and I actually say aloud, "Hey! It's Reba McEntire!" and she totally reads my lips and her reaction is to smile gaily and wave super-enthusiastically at me and then the light changed and she sped off. So she is awesome. Plus, she loves Kelly Clarkson and so do I. And...right, I'm not on Rebamaniacs.com right now, am I? Sorry about that, it's been a long week.
So, I have a strange fondness for Joanna Garcia here, probably because I used to find myself accidentally sucked into Reba, like, more that I ought to have been. I would feel worse about that, except for the fact that nearly everyone I know has admitted being accidentally sucked into watching Reba on occasion, and, besides, everyone knows that Reba McEntire is one of those celebrities who doesn't seem particularly hip but is in fact technically awesome. I mean, I know we've talked about this video here before.
And I may have mentioned that I had a rather amusing semi-in-person encounter with her once. Namely, I had been drinking. As had my friends. And for some reason we decided we needed to go to Kinkos. To copy something. So we drunkenly traipsed over to the Kinkos, which is on a very well-trafficked corner. And it was closed. And while my friends were peering inside to make sure it was really, really, really, really closed, I was sort of standing on the corner staring blankly into the street and a very fancy Porsche drives up and stops right in front of me at the stoplight. And Reba McEntire is sitting in the passenger seat and she looks over and sees me drunkenly staring at her and I actually say aloud, "Hey! It's Reba McEntire!" and she totally reads my lips and her reaction is to smile gaily and wave super-enthusiastically at me and then the light changed and she sped off. So she is awesome. Plus, she loves Kelly Clarkson and so do I. And...right, I'm not on Rebamaniacs.com right now, am I? Sorry about that, it's been a long week.
Labels: The Fug Girls
15 December 2007
Quote of the Week
From the always awesome Fug Girls:
[I'm a] huge fan of the seminal tune "I Love Trash," -- truly, it's neck and neck with "Rubber Ducky" as the best Sesame Street song ever, in my opinion, with honorable mention going to "C Is For Cookie," which I hear has been replaced by "Cookies Are a Sometimes Food," which, I'm sorry, is bullshit, because cookies are an ALWAYS food, they're just not a MASS QUANTITIES food. Why you gotta play me like this, Sesame Street?"
[I'm a] huge fan of the seminal tune "I Love Trash," -- truly, it's neck and neck with "Rubber Ducky" as the best Sesame Street song ever, in my opinion, with honorable mention going to "C Is For Cookie," which I hear has been replaced by "Cookies Are a Sometimes Food," which, I'm sorry, is bullshit, because cookies are an ALWAYS food, they're just not a MASS QUANTITIES food. Why you gotta play me like this, Sesame Street?"
Labels: food, The Fug Girls
