Catching Ducks

I have bad vision. Bad, bad, so-near-sighted-I-can't-read-a-book-without-my-contacts vision. Recently I went to the eye doctor for a check-up. He did that eye dilation thing while I was there. He put the drops in my eyes, and then stepped out for a couple of minutes while the drops did their dilation thing. When he came back, he said, "Things starting to look a bit blurry?"

I'm all, "Starting?"

He laughed, and explained that most patients report blurriness after having their eyes dilated. Of course, once I put my contacts back in, I did indeed notice that everything within a few feet of me was blurry. But without my contacts, I couldn't tell the difference!



Since my vision is so bad, I've often wondered what exactly my eyes were in terms of the 20/20 scale. 20/100, 20/200, or what. My contacts are labelled "5.0" and the doctor referred to them as being "five hundreds". I asked him if that meant my eyes were 20/500. I thought that sounded like sufficiently poor vision. He was like, "Umm, no. The two have nothing to do with each other. The big 'E' is 20/500."

I'm all, "What big 'E'?"

Seriously, I can not read the big E. I do see a vague suggestion of parallel lines, but that's it. So, I still don't know what my vision officially is, but apparently it's much, much worse than 20/500. Yikes!

Rule #8: If you don't know where it goes, give it to the clerk.

Picture this: A customer comes in and wants to buy a watering can. You take them to the area of the store where the water cans live, but the spot is empty. You go to check the computer to see when you'll be getting your next shipment and -- surprise! -- the computer says you have one in stock. Puzzled, you go back out to the section, and look again. Still no watering can. You apologize to the customer, who leaves watering can-less. A week later, while restocking the Barbie dolls, you find -- ta da! -- the missing watering can. Now, you know the watering can did not get up on its little watering can legs and walk itself over to the Barbie dolls. What happened was that someone thought to themselves, "I think I'll buy a watering can." Later, while perusing the Barbie dolls, they decide, "Nah, I don't think I want a watering can today." Which is fine. Really! Not a problem. If they don't want to buy a watering can, then far be it from me to insist that they purchase one. The problem is that they leave it in the wrong place.

I can understand not wanting to trek all the way back to the watering can section and put it back, or not remembering where you found it, but don't just leave it somewhere random!! Hand it to the first clerk you see, give it to the cashier when you leave, whatever! It's not that much extra work, and it makes everyone's lives easier.

I've never really understood why so many people have a hard time with this. Based on the people who do give me unwanted items, it might be embarrassment, but I've never really understood that, either. If that's what it is, let me assure you, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I can promise you, from the very bottom of my store-clerk heart, that I will not be insulted if you've changed your mind and decided not to buy that watering can. In fact, I will be grateful that you gave it to me to put away, instead of leaving it with the Barbie dolls. Really! I will not be offended, my feelings will not be hurt, and I won't be annoyed that you're giving me work to do. You're actually helping me -- it's a lot easier for me to put it away than for me to search for it two weeks from now.

And if you're leaving your metaphorical watering can in the Barbie dolls because you're lazy, well... um... yeah. Can't really help you with that one.

I hate spoilers. Hate 'em. Hate, hate hate.

Last night was the season finale of The Amazing Race. I only watched the first part, because I have an early class in the morning and I can't miss sleep. I taped the rest, and planned to watch it when I got home today. At school, I was talking to some of my friends, and I mentioned the show. One friend said she had seen it, and knew who won. I immediately started screeching "Don't tell me! Don't tell me!", while closing my eyes and covering my ears (to block out both ASL and English). My friend laughed at my insanity, and promised she wouldn't tell me. (I have very understanding friends. :) )

Later, while waiting for the bus, I was scanning the headlines of the various newspapers. Seattle Times, Seattle PI, Wall Street Journal, la la la .... BOOM! USA Today: ____ & _____ won The Amazing Race.

AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The paper listed the names, obviously. I left it blank just in case you were hoping to remain spoiler-free.)

Needless to say, I didn't enjoy the finale as much as I would have liked. :(

Rule #7: Wait your turn.

Apparently some people out there missed the week in kindergarten when the rest of us learned how to wait our turn. These people are easy for me to spot: they're the people who interrupt me when I'm helping another customer. I'll be standing at the register, ringing someone up, and all of sudden the missing-kindergarten person will come up and ask me something. And it's not like there's a big line of customers behind the person I'm ringing up -- the most they'd have to wait is a couple of minutes. But apparently that's just too much of a wait for them, so they butt in. And it isn't always when I'm at the register. Sometimes I'll be showing someone something out on the floor, and a buttinski will interrupt there, too.

Seriously, what's up with that? Can they not wait the minute or two that politeness dictates? Are they really in that big of a hurry that they can't manange common courtesy? Come on, people, wait your turn!

What's most frustrating is that I still have to be polite, even when they're being very rude.

However...

One day I was at a music store. I was at the front counter, buying my whatever (blank audio tapes, maybe? Like I said, whatever.) All of a sudden, a kindergarten-missing buttinski comes up and asks the clerk a question. The clerk got the same look on his face that I do when someone does that to me, but answered the question. Before the buttinski left, I calmly and firmly explained that it was very rude of him to interrupt like that, and that he should have waited his turn. The buttinski was contrite and apologized and it was AWESOME.

So, to all you non-kindergarten-missing, non-buttinski's out there, stand up for yourself! You may have someone yell at you for having the guts to call them on their rudeness, but you'll be making the world a better place. Plus, it's really, really fun!

# posted by mamurd @ 9:16 AM 0 comments

I caught a glimpse of the front page of one of the Seattle papers this morning. One headline proclaimed "Gay Sex Scandal". The sub-headline (is there a name for that?) indicated that a man had been sexually molesting young boys. While that's awful, it's not gay. Apparently the brilliant journalist types couldn't spell "pedophile". I find it really frustrating that people confuse the two.

Imagine if the pedophile had been molesting girls. Would the headline have said "Straight Sex Scandal"? Hell, no. Maybe "Sex Scandal", but that usually implies grown-ups. (The local pastor has a mistress, the sheriff's been visiting a brothel, that sort of thing.) But since it's a male pedophile abusing young boys, it's a "gay" sex scandal.

Grrr...

When I started posting my "customer rules", I was mostly just having some fun venting. I didn't think anyone (other than friends) would read it, unless they were fellow retail workers. I thought maybe my fellow clerks would feel my pain, and I had hoped they might be amused.

But apparently I've some offended some customer types. One went so far as to call me a bitch. (Actually, they said B*#&%, but I'm a clever girl, so I figured it out. ;) ) This was quite surprising. I thought that my posts were light-hearted enough that no one could get that upset. Guess I was wrong! Ah well. The joys of blogging, I suppose.

I don't watch much reality TV, but I do enjoy The Amazing Race. Right now they're down to the last three teams: Rob/Amber, Ron/Kelly, and Uchenna/Joyce. Personally, I want Rob and Amber to win. Why? Because they're racing the best. Yes, they've made a couple of mistakes, but generally they're kicking fin. Uchenna and Joyce are lovely people, and are doing ok, but they keep getting confused about the whole "race" concept. Ron and Kelly...well... they're also doing ok, and Ron seems nice enough, but Kelly?

She claimed Ron proved he didn't like to commit because he got out of the military early. Why did he get out of the military early? Because... (wait for it)... he was POW.

No, really. That's what she said.

NO, REALLY.

And you thought Colin's broken ox was bad!

I actually had a pretty good day. My early morning class was cancelled, so I got three whole extra hours of sleep! What bliss!! :) :) :)

Since class was cancelled, the only thing I had to do today was a volunteer interpreting job. It was exhausing, but it went ok. As I rode the bus home, I thought about how much I really enjoy interpreting. That job was a lot of work, and very difficult for me. But I came away from it feeling fulfilled. I was satisfied with my work, and enjoyed the atmosphere of teamwork that the other interpreters and I had.

I love my (future) job!! :) :) :)

Rule #6: Don't sit on the steps.

Or in the aisles. Or anywhere else that you're blocking foot traffic, because, hello! You're not the only one in the store.

I'm a little more forgiving of kids doing this, because they're, you know, kids. They get absorbed in something and don't realize how their actions are affecting the rest of the universe. But adults? You're adults. Try to be at least a little self-aware. If you sit on the steps in front of the entrance to the store, you're blocking other people from entering the store. If you sit down in the aisle to look at something, you're preventing other people from coming down that aisle.

Once I found a kid sitting in the aisle, completely blocking it (we have narrow aisles where I work). I very nicely (because, you know, it's a kid) asked the kid to move, and suggested another room where he could sit that wouldn't block other people (or, you know, GET STEPPED ON!, because, you know, kid!) The adult with the kid reacted as if I had asked the child to chop off his own head with a rusty knife. Sheesh!

My brother and I went to see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy last night (which, rather surprisingly, didn't suck) and one of the trailers was for Episode III. It was actually the first time I'd seen a trailer/commercial for it, and I had to work really hard not to squeal with excitement/delight/joy/anticipation right there in the theater. I finally got the excess EEEEE!!! out of my system by hitting my brother on the arm a couple of times. Poor Soto!

After the trailer, Soto turned to me and said, "That music was from Empire and Jedi." I shouldn't be surprised that he knew that, but I was.

The trailer looked awesome, obviously. But I'm not exactly a hard sell. I grew up on Star Wars, and I love it all. :) Well, except for the pod races in Episode I. That was kind of dull. But everything else is fantabulous. Lots of people seemed unimpressed by Episode II, but I really liked it, and I can't wait for III.

How much longer???

*sigh*