27 April 2005
"Nice" weather
Here in the northern hemisphere, summer is fast approaching. People are all cheerful about the blue skies, lack of rain, and warmer temperatures.
BAH!
I hate blue skies, no rain, and warm temperatures!!! I want clouds, and rain, and COLD!
If one more person mentions the "nice" weather, I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!
BAH!
I hate blue skies, no rain, and warm temperatures!!! I want clouds, and rain, and COLD!
If one more person mentions the "nice" weather, I think I'm going to SCREAM!!!
26 April 2005
Customer Rules, part 5
Rule #5: Don't leave your garbage in the store.
Ew. Just...ew.
Seriously, people, have you never heard of a garbage can?
It's bad enough finding garbage on the floor, but many people leave their crap on the shelves, sitting next to product! Yuck!
And a newspaper or flyer isn't so bad, but empty coffee cups? Used toothpicks? Used bandaids? Gum??
Ew.
Either take it with you and put it in the garbage can outside, or ask us if we have one.
There, that wasn't so hard, was it? ;)
Ew. Just...ew.
Seriously, people, have you never heard of a garbage can?
It's bad enough finding garbage on the floor, but many people leave their crap on the shelves, sitting next to product! Yuck!
And a newspaper or flyer isn't so bad, but empty coffee cups? Used toothpicks? Used bandaids? Gum??
Ew.
Either take it with you and put it in the garbage can outside, or ask us if we have one.
There, that wasn't so hard, was it? ;)
22 April 2005
Customer Rules, part 4
Rule #4: Leave the store before it closes.
If the store closes at 7:00, leave the store at 6:59 AT THE LATEST. Leaving earlier is better. When the employees tell you that the store closes in 10 minutes, that doesn't mean "wait ten minutes and then go the cash register", it means the store CLOSES in ten minutes, so get your butt out the door before then. Remember that you and all the other stragglers still have to pay for your purchases, (assuming you actually have any, and aren't just killing time waiting for your bus....) and that takes time.
Some people seem to take great offense at being hurried out the door, but look at it from our perspective: When you (finally) leave, we still have lots of work to do. There is restocking to be done, money to be counted, reports to be run, etc. We don't just lock the door and go home! And we're usually in a hurry, because we've got families to see, lives to live, and buses to catch. Imagine if we came into your office two minutes before quitting time, and demanded that you spend another fifteen minutes helping us. It would piss you off, right? Well, welcome to my world.
Just last night I had a customer come in a fifteen minutes before closing. She had walked a long way to come there. (Ummm, next time, maybe you should call first? That's a big "duh" right there. If you're walking halfway across town, make sure the store is actually going to be open when you arrive. This isn't brain surgery, people!) We warned her that we were closing soon, and she seemed agreeable, but didn't exactly seem in hurry to leave. We finally told her that we were closing, and she paid for her stuff. But before she left, she asked for a bathroom! Now, the place I work doesn't have one (see Rule #2), but even if we did, we were past closing time at this point! Why on earth would we want her to stay even longer??!?!
A corollary to the "get your butt out the door before closing time" rule is:
Don't go into a store shortly before closing unless you know exactly what you want.
Ten minutes before the store locks its doors is not a good time to browse. If nothing else, you make the clerks nervous, because we're afraid you're not going to leave. And yes, I have had customers who will not leave. It's a nightmare. Don't be mamurd's nightmare!! Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!
Whew! I feel better now. :)
If the store closes at 7:00, leave the store at 6:59 AT THE LATEST. Leaving earlier is better. When the employees tell you that the store closes in 10 minutes, that doesn't mean "wait ten minutes and then go the cash register", it means the store CLOSES in ten minutes, so get your butt out the door before then. Remember that you and all the other stragglers still have to pay for your purchases, (assuming you actually have any, and aren't just killing time waiting for your bus....) and that takes time.
Some people seem to take great offense at being hurried out the door, but look at it from our perspective: When you (finally) leave, we still have lots of work to do. There is restocking to be done, money to be counted, reports to be run, etc. We don't just lock the door and go home! And we're usually in a hurry, because we've got families to see, lives to live, and buses to catch. Imagine if we came into your office two minutes before quitting time, and demanded that you spend another fifteen minutes helping us. It would piss you off, right? Well, welcome to my world.
Just last night I had a customer come in a fifteen minutes before closing. She had walked a long way to come there. (Ummm, next time, maybe you should call first? That's a big "duh" right there. If you're walking halfway across town, make sure the store is actually going to be open when you arrive. This isn't brain surgery, people!) We warned her that we were closing soon, and she seemed agreeable, but didn't exactly seem in hurry to leave. We finally told her that we were closing, and she paid for her stuff. But before she left, she asked for a bathroom! Now, the place I work doesn't have one (see Rule #2), but even if we did, we were past closing time at this point! Why on earth would we want her to stay even longer??!?!
A corollary to the "get your butt out the door before closing time" rule is:
Don't go into a store shortly before closing unless you know exactly what you want.
Ten minutes before the store locks its doors is not a good time to browse. If nothing else, you make the clerks nervous, because we're afraid you're not going to leave. And yes, I have had customers who will not leave. It's a nightmare. Don't be mamurd's nightmare!! Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!
Whew! I feel better now. :)
19 April 2005
Customer Rules, part 3
Rule #3: Do NOT open up the products!
I've never figured out why so many people think it's necessary to rip open the packaging of the product to see what's inside -- most things have a picture and a description of the product on the outside. Many companies make the packaging with plastic see-through "windows". And yet, time and time again, I find ripped open boxes sitting on the shelves. Even if you're careful not to rip the packaging, and to put everything back in when you're done, it's still a problem. Here's why:
1) Other customers/children, who aren't as careful as you, see you doing it, think it's ok, and do it themselves. Chaos ensues.
2) Even though you're careful, you don't realize that a piece has dropped out of the box, fallen on the floor, and rolled under the shelves. Whoever buys it (you or some unsuspecting customer) will be cranky that it's missing a piece and have to return it, causing the store to lose money and the buyer to lose time.
3) Even though you're careful, you accidentally rip the box. You eventually decide not to purchase the product, and put it back on the shelf. Now no one else will buy it, because the box is torn!
4) The employees don't know that you're one of the careful people, so they have to keep an eye out to make sure that the packaging isn't torn, and that no pieces are lost.
What's most frustrating is that it's all so unnecessary. If people would take a minute or two to inspect the box, they would see the list of contents/explanation of how the product works/what kind of batteries are required/what the product is made out of/etc.
If you absolutely must grope the product, for heaven's sake, take it up to the front counter and ASK FOR HELP. Often the clerks will have tools to make the opening (and closing) process easier.
Why is this so hard for people to grasp?
I've never figured out why so many people think it's necessary to rip open the packaging of the product to see what's inside -- most things have a picture and a description of the product on the outside. Many companies make the packaging with plastic see-through "windows". And yet, time and time again, I find ripped open boxes sitting on the shelves. Even if you're careful not to rip the packaging, and to put everything back in when you're done, it's still a problem. Here's why:
1) Other customers/children, who aren't as careful as you, see you doing it, think it's ok, and do it themselves. Chaos ensues.
2) Even though you're careful, you don't realize that a piece has dropped out of the box, fallen on the floor, and rolled under the shelves. Whoever buys it (you or some unsuspecting customer) will be cranky that it's missing a piece and have to return it, causing the store to lose money and the buyer to lose time.
3) Even though you're careful, you accidentally rip the box. You eventually decide not to purchase the product, and put it back on the shelf. Now no one else will buy it, because the box is torn!
4) The employees don't know that you're one of the careful people, so they have to keep an eye out to make sure that the packaging isn't torn, and that no pieces are lost.
What's most frustrating is that it's all so unnecessary. If people would take a minute or two to inspect the box, they would see the list of contents/explanation of how the product works/what kind of batteries are required/what the product is made out of/etc.
If you absolutely must grope the product, for heaven's sake, take it up to the front counter and ASK FOR HELP. Often the clerks will have tools to make the opening (and closing) process easier.
Why is this so hard for people to grasp?
13 April 2005
Happy Birthday, Jack!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Customer Rules, part 2
Rule #2: If the sign says "No restroom", it means there's no restroom
We didn't put the sign up just to inconvenience you. We aren't mean. We're not lying. We aren't trying to make you/your child suffer. When the building was built 75 years ago, the architects didn't think to themselves, "On April 10, 2005, at 2:03 pm, Jane Smith is going to have pee and we don't want her to."
That's just how it is! There is NO bathroom! Deal with it. If you're polite I'll tell you where the nearest one is. But that snotty attitude is inappropriate and uncalled for. We're not singling you out. We're not making this up. There is no bathroom. I promise. Now stop your whining and go across the street to the Starbucks.
We didn't put the sign up just to inconvenience you. We aren't mean. We're not lying. We aren't trying to make you/your child suffer. When the building was built 75 years ago, the architects didn't think to themselves, "On April 10, 2005, at 2:03 pm, Jane Smith is going to have pee and we don't want her to."
That's just how it is! There is NO bathroom! Deal with it. If you're polite I'll tell you where the nearest one is. But that snotty attitude is inappropriate and uncalled for. We're not singling you out. We're not making this up. There is no bathroom. I promise. Now stop your whining and go across the street to the Starbucks.
09 April 2005
How to be a good customer
I've been working retail for over five years in two different types of stores, and I have formed some strong opinions about what makes a bad customer. Most of these people probably have no idea how horrible they're being, so I thought I'd help them out. Over the next week or so I will share some of my rules about how to be a good customer. (My alternative title for this post: "How to behave so the clerks don't think you're completely stupid and rude.")
Rule #1: If I'm wearing my apron, do not, under any circumstances, ask me, "Do you work here?"
Of course I bloody work here!! I'm wearing an apron with the name of the store emblazoned on it! I'm putting product on the shelves/cleaning shelves/using a tagging gun/standing behind the counter. Would I be doing these things IN AN APRON WITH THE NAME OF THE STORE ON IT if I didn't work here??!?!?!
Now, what they're really asking is, "Can you help me?". But seriously people, just say that. Or, "Excuse me, miss?" Or simply, "Ma'am?". That's ok. Really. I promise. And all of those questions have the added benefit of not making you look like a total moron.
Tangential story: Once I was walking though another store in regular street clothes (no apron, no staff T-shirt) with a shopping basket. A woman stopped me, pointed to some wicker baskets, and asked me, "Do these come in a larger size?" So people in my own store (where I'm wearing store clothing) don't think I work there, but some random person in another store where I was also shopping thinks I work there? Crazy.
Rule #1: If I'm wearing my apron, do not, under any circumstances, ask me, "Do you work here?"
Of course I bloody work here!! I'm wearing an apron with the name of the store emblazoned on it! I'm putting product on the shelves/cleaning shelves/using a tagging gun/standing behind the counter. Would I be doing these things IN AN APRON WITH THE NAME OF THE STORE ON IT if I didn't work here??!?!?!
Now, what they're really asking is, "Can you help me?". But seriously people, just say that. Or, "Excuse me, miss?" Or simply, "Ma'am?". That's ok. Really. I promise. And all of those questions have the added benefit of not making you look like a total moron.
Tangential story: Once I was walking though another store in regular street clothes (no apron, no staff T-shirt) with a shopping basket. A woman stopped me, pointed to some wicker baskets, and asked me, "Do these come in a larger size?" So people in my own store (where I'm wearing store clothing) don't think I work there, but some random person in another store where I was also shopping thinks I work there? Crazy.
08 April 2005
Best Friend
In my last post, I referred to my "best friend" Jack. Last I heard, she wasn't all that comfortable with the label "best friend", because of its annoying connotations. (Think of 13-year-old girls being "bestest friends forever" one week and hating each other the next.) I totally get that, but I've never been able to find a better label. I mean, it *should* make sense: I have good friends. A, B, and C are my better friends. Jack is my best friend. Simple, right?
I'm a little more comfortable with the label than Jack because I actually had a childhood best friend. It was one of those friendships where we didn't remember *not* knowing each other, and we spent as much time together as possible. (Which was pretty easy to do, considering we were in the same class and went to the same church.) Because of that good experience, I have a different view of "best friend" than Jack does.
I can't really call her my "oldest friend". For one thing, that makes her sound like she's old, and she is always quick to point out that she's four months younger than me. She isn't even the friend I've known the longest -- that would be my brother. (Ok, yes, unfair advantage, but still.)
Maybe "closest friend"?
Well, whatever the label, she is someone I admire greatly, and trust completely.
I'm a little more comfortable with the label than Jack because I actually had a childhood best friend. It was one of those friendships where we didn't remember *not* knowing each other, and we spent as much time together as possible. (Which was pretty easy to do, considering we were in the same class and went to the same church.) Because of that good experience, I have a different view of "best friend" than Jack does.
I can't really call her my "oldest friend". For one thing, that makes her sound like she's old, and she is always quick to point out that she's four months younger than me. She isn't even the friend I've known the longest -- that would be my brother. (Ok, yes, unfair advantage, but still.)
Maybe "closest friend"?
Well, whatever the label, she is someone I admire greatly, and trust completely.
07 April 2005
Lots to do!
I've got lots to do. I've got to make a lunch for work tomorrow, put my clothes in the dryer, get ready for school tomorrow, etc. Lots and lots to do, and I need to get some sleep asap. So much to do, so little time, so I'm doing something else. Something else that totally doesn't need to be done.
I sorta feel like I should say who I am here. Well....
I'm the Queen of Procrastination. (Duh.)
I love the remix of Dido's "Sand in My Shoes" that C89.5 plays, but find the album version mediocre.
The best TV show ever was "Farscape".
The best website ever is www.televisionwithoutpity.com.
My best friend (who I'll call "Jack", for reasons that only she will understand) is quite possibly the coolest person I know and is one of the people I rely on most.
One of the other people I rely on most is my brother ("Sotosoroto") who is also incredibly cool (and also in southeast Europe right now, undoubtedly having a lovely time).
I'm bi.
I'm single.
I have a masters degree in ecology and evoluntionary biology and am one quarter away from finishing a sign language interpreting training program. Make sense? No? Good.
I'm relatively happy, which hasn't always been the case (grad school, I'm looking at *you*!)
I get along well with my roommate, despite that fact that we couldn't be more different.
I read a lot, but never enough.
I watch a lot of TV, but never enough good stuff. (And by "good stuff", I mean "Farscape", "Lost", early "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Red Dwarf", etc., not Nova or whatever other "educational" stuff PBS is airing.)
In general, I don't like movies.
I don't like discussing politics.
I'm agnostic. (No, not an atheist. That's different. And no, not a gnostic. That's also different.)
Once, my heart was broken, but not by a ex-girl/boyfriend. Long, painful story.
I want to get married and have kids.
I want same-sex marriages to be legal. (Need a reason? See above.)
I want to find a job as an interpreter and be successful at it.
I want...
I want...
I want....
Wow, that's all very me, me, me! But I guess that's kind of the point of having one's own blog, right? ;)
Ok, I *really* do have to do that other stuff now. Blech.
I sorta feel like I should say who I am here. Well....
I'm the Queen of Procrastination. (Duh.)
I love the remix of Dido's "Sand in My Shoes" that C89.5 plays, but find the album version mediocre.
The best TV show ever was "Farscape".
The best website ever is www.televisionwithoutpity.com.
My best friend (who I'll call "Jack", for reasons that only she will understand) is quite possibly the coolest person I know and is one of the people I rely on most.
One of the other people I rely on most is my brother ("Sotosoroto") who is also incredibly cool (and also in southeast Europe right now, undoubtedly having a lovely time).
I'm bi.
I'm single.
I have a masters degree in ecology and evoluntionary biology and am one quarter away from finishing a sign language interpreting training program. Make sense? No? Good.
I'm relatively happy, which hasn't always been the case (grad school, I'm looking at *you*!)
I get along well with my roommate, despite that fact that we couldn't be more different.
I read a lot, but never enough.
I watch a lot of TV, but never enough good stuff. (And by "good stuff", I mean "Farscape", "Lost", early "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Red Dwarf", etc., not Nova or whatever other "educational" stuff PBS is airing.)
In general, I don't like movies.
I don't like discussing politics.
I'm agnostic. (No, not an atheist. That's different. And no, not a gnostic. That's also different.)
Once, my heart was broken, but not by a ex-girl/boyfriend. Long, painful story.
I want to get married and have kids.
I want same-sex marriages to be legal. (Need a reason? See above.)
I want to find a job as an interpreter and be successful at it.
I want...
I want...
I want....
Wow, that's all very me, me, me! But I guess that's kind of the point of having one's own blog, right? ;)
Ok, I *really* do have to do that other stuff now. Blech.
Yeah, so...
Not quite sure what I'm doing (what else is new?) but I thought I'd give this a try.
Re: the title of this blog -- I do enjoy inside jokes. Nothing better than a 10-year-old joke that only one other person on the planet will get. :)
Ummm.....nothing else for now.
Re: the title of this blog -- I do enjoy inside jokes. Nothing better than a 10-year-old joke that only one other person on the planet will get. :)
Ummm.....nothing else for now.
