26 April 2012
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
From the seventh episode of the tenth season:
Jeremy: Have you ever wanted to buy a sports car that's got a diesel engine, top speed of 150 miles an hour, that's a high-riding 4x4 off-road car and is also a four-seater convertible?
James and Richard: No.
Jeremy: Neither have I. But Audi's made one anyway. Here it is.
Richard: What! What do you do with it?
Jeremy: I've no idea.
Jeremy: Have you ever wanted to buy a sports car that's got a diesel engine, top speed of 150 miles an hour, that's a high-riding 4x4 off-road car and is also a four-seater convertible?
James and Richard: No.
Jeremy: Neither have I. But Audi's made one anyway. Here it is.
Richard: What! What do you do with it?
Jeremy: I've no idea.
Labels: Top Gear
17 April 2012
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
From episode 15.4:
Jeremy: It has been wrongly assumed that blind people can't drive.
James: Well, they can't.
Richard: Yeah, realistically they can't...
Jeremy: No, no, no. Blind people can drive. Just mostly into things.
Jeremy: It has been wrongly assumed that blind people can't drive.
James: Well, they can't.
Richard: Yeah, realistically they can't...
Jeremy: No, no, no. Blind people can drive. Just mostly into things.
Labels: Top Gear
03 March 2012
The Top Gear Instant Complaint Letter
27 January 2012
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
From episode 3.3:
[Going over the results of a nation-wide car survey...]
Richard: This whole survey throws up some fascinating stuff. Like the Porsche 911. A favorite car of mine, known for its... somewhat scary handling sometimes. Ninety-six percent of 911 owners in this survey claim to be absolutely satisfied with their car's handling, which is very good. It leaves four percent, and they probably were entirely satisfied with the handling of their 911 right up until they hit the tree. Then they changed their mind.
Jeremy: Yeah, but think of it this way. The people who got their bone marrow and their eyes are very satisfied with the handling of the 911.
[Going over the results of a nation-wide car survey...]
Richard: This whole survey throws up some fascinating stuff. Like the Porsche 911. A favorite car of mine, known for its... somewhat scary handling sometimes. Ninety-six percent of 911 owners in this survey claim to be absolutely satisfied with their car's handling, which is very good. It leaves four percent, and they probably were entirely satisfied with the handling of their 911 right up until they hit the tree. Then they changed their mind.
Jeremy: Yeah, but think of it this way. The people who got their bone marrow and their eyes are very satisfied with the handling of the 911.
Labels: Top Gear
26 October 2011
Quote(s) of the Day: TWoP & Modern Family
I just realized that the quote I used Saturday was one I had used before -- oops! So you get two today. (Aren't you excited? Don't you feel special?)
From rianeiru on the motivator thread at Television Without Pity, regarding Top Gear:
"I just got a friend hooked on Top Gear who'd never seen it before because when she looked it up on IMDB it had the most boring description possible. I'm serious, this is IMDB's summary of Top Gear: 'Jeremy, Richard and James talk about everything car-related. From new cars to how they're fueled, this show has it all.' I mean, shouldn't it be something like 'Three insane dudes try to get each other killed in increasingly eccentric ways that very often involve a car of some kind. Oh, and the cinematography is effing GORGEOUS.'?"
And from the pilot episode of Modern Family:
"I'm the cool dad. That's my thing. I'm hip. I surf the Web. I text. LOL: laughing out loud. OMG: Oh my God. WTF: Why the face?"
From rianeiru on the motivator thread at Television Without Pity, regarding Top Gear:
"I just got a friend hooked on Top Gear who'd never seen it before because when she looked it up on IMDB it had the most boring description possible. I'm serious, this is IMDB's summary of Top Gear: 'Jeremy, Richard and James talk about everything car-related. From new cars to how they're fueled, this show has it all.' I mean, shouldn't it be something like 'Three insane dudes try to get each other killed in increasingly eccentric ways that very often involve a car of some kind. Oh, and the cinematography is effing GORGEOUS.'?"
And from the pilot episode of Modern Family:
"I'm the cool dad. That's my thing. I'm hip. I surf the Web. I text. LOL: laughing out loud. OMG: Oh my God. WTF: Why the face?"
Labels: Modern Family, Top Gear
18 October 2011
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
From episode 14.4:
[Describing a new Range Rover...]
Jeremy: And here is the really amazing bit. This is what's called a "self-replenishing drinks cabinet". For the first year you own the car, when your drink supplies are getting low, they come 'round and top them up free of charge!
Richard: Wow! Wow!
James: Do I have to buy the car, or can I just have the self-replenishing drinks cabinet?
Jeremy: Honestly, I tell you what: if I bought this car, the diesel in the tank after one year would be exactly the same as it was when it came.
Richard: You'd still be in the same field. "I tried drinking the diesel but then the man arrived with more champagne!" I just want one of those!
Jeremy: No, it is. I mean really and truthfully, this is the car to buy if you are sensible... or if you're a drunk!
[Describing a new Range Rover...]
Jeremy: And here is the really amazing bit. This is what's called a "self-replenishing drinks cabinet". For the first year you own the car, when your drink supplies are getting low, they come 'round and top them up free of charge!
Richard: Wow! Wow!
James: Do I have to buy the car, or can I just have the self-replenishing drinks cabinet?
Jeremy: Honestly, I tell you what: if I bought this car, the diesel in the tank after one year would be exactly the same as it was when it came.
Richard: You'd still be in the same field. "I tried drinking the diesel but then the man arrived with more champagne!" I just want one of those!
Jeremy: No, it is. I mean really and truthfully, this is the car to buy if you are sensible... or if you're a drunk!
Labels: Top Gear
23 May 2011
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
From episode 11.03:
James: I want to say a couple more things about that Bentley. See, you said there it was like a slab of old England.
Jeremy: Yes.
James: But Bentley is owned by VW. That car was styled by a Belgian and it was engineered by a man called Ulrich Eichhorn. Doesn't sound very British.
Jeremy: Are you presenting Top Gear or are you writing a letter to the Daily Telegraph?
James: Well, I am just saying that you know immediately that this car is German because it's got too much power. They've overdone it, as usual. Like they did on their French holiday in 1939.
Jeremy: James, James, the Queen is German.
James: Yes.
Jeremy: You can't sing "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles" every time she comes on the television, do you?
James: Well, I do actually.
James: I want to say a couple more things about that Bentley. See, you said there it was like a slab of old England.
Jeremy: Yes.
James: But Bentley is owned by VW. That car was styled by a Belgian and it was engineered by a man called Ulrich Eichhorn. Doesn't sound very British.
Jeremy: Are you presenting Top Gear or are you writing a letter to the Daily Telegraph?
James: Well, I am just saying that you know immediately that this car is German because it's got too much power. They've overdone it, as usual. Like they did on their French holiday in 1939.
Jeremy: James, James, the Queen is German.
James: Yes.
Jeremy: You can't sing "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles" every time she comes on the television, do you?
James: Well, I do actually.
Labels: Top Gear
17 March 2011
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
[In the news, talking about how Australian authorities are going to get tough on drunk fans]
Jeremy: They say each fan is going to be limited to just twenty-four cans of lager each, per day.
Richard: [sarcastically] Just twenty-four?
Jeremy: Twenty-four a day, no more than that.
James: And Australians, don't think you can get round this by switching to wine, because that's limited as well... to four litres a day.
Jeremy: They say each fan is going to be limited to just twenty-four cans of lager each, per day.
Richard: [sarcastically] Just twenty-four?
Jeremy: Twenty-four a day, no more than that.
James: And Australians, don't think you can get round this by switching to wine, because that's limited as well... to four litres a day.
Labels: Top Gear
03 January 2011
Quote of the Day: Top Gear (U.S. version)
From the episode "Fast in Florida":
Adam: So far I'm liking the Ebora. It's not like all the other Lotuses. It's wider, [and it] has more head room. It also has a back seat, which I'm sure could fit your passengers comfortably if you cut off their heads and legs.
Adam: So far I'm liking the Ebora. It's not like all the other Lotuses. It's wider, [and it] has more head room. It also has a back seat, which I'm sure could fit your passengers comfortably if you cut off their heads and legs.
Labels: Top Gear
24 November 2010
British -> American
Syfy is remaking "Being Human", a very enjoyable BBC show. Initial clips look promising, but I'm not sure what the point is. Can't Americans just watch the original? Is making the characters (a werewolf, a vampire, and a ghost) American going to change them in some fundamentally interesting way?
Last Sunday the History Channel premiered their version of "Top Gear". It had some good moments, and the race car driver host (Tanner something-or-other) was cool, but still -- what's the point?
I guess time will tell.
Last Sunday the History Channel premiered their version of "Top Gear". It had some good moments, and the race car driver host (Tanner something-or-other) was cool, but still -- what's the point?
I guess time will tell.
Labels: Being Human, Top Gear, TV
07 November 2010
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
From episode 10.6:
James: Now, Alfa-Romeo has launched a replacement for its 156, which is called the 159.
Richard: Oh, actually James, that was launched two years ago.
James: Yes it was, but we weren't paying attention.
James: Now, Alfa-Romeo has launched a replacement for its 156, which is called the 159.
Richard: Oh, actually James, that was launched two years ago.
James: Yes it was, but we weren't paying attention.
Labels: Top Gear
02 October 2010
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
From episode 5.4:
[Interview with Jimmy Carr]
Jeremy: Then after Cambridge, it was off to work for an oil company.
Jimmy: Yes, Shell.
Jeremy: Middle management?
Jimmy: Yeah, middle - I was in marketing, for oil.
Jeremy: Okay...
Jimmy: ...which is technically the easiest job on the planet. Do you have a fuel gauge in your car?
Jeremy: Yeah.
Jimmy: Yeah, you know when that goes into the red?
Jeremy: Yeah?
Jimmy: Buy some petrol. Job done.
[Interview with Jimmy Carr]
Jeremy: Then after Cambridge, it was off to work for an oil company.
Jimmy: Yes, Shell.
Jeremy: Middle management?
Jimmy: Yeah, middle - I was in marketing, for oil.
Jeremy: Okay...
Jimmy: ...which is technically the easiest job on the planet. Do you have a fuel gauge in your car?
Jeremy: Yeah.
Jimmy: Yeah, you know when that goes into the red?
Jeremy: Yeah?
Jimmy: Buy some petrol. Job done.
Labels: Top Gear
16 May 2010
Quote of the Day: Top Gear
From episode 11.6 (i.e. the one with the German Top Gear):
[During the Top Gear v. Germans challenge: hatch-back test]
Jeremy: Awful lot of bullets hitting me here.
Jeremy: [voiceover] And no wonder...
Richard: James, what are you doing!?
James: Shooting at Jeremy.
Richard: But he's on our side!
James: Yeah, but why wouldn't you?
Richard: You're right, you would. Fire!
[During the Top Gear v. Germans challenge: hatch-back test]
Jeremy: Awful lot of bullets hitting me here.
Jeremy: [voiceover] And no wonder...
Richard: James, what are you doing!?
James: Shooting at Jeremy.
Richard: But he's on our side!
James: Yeah, but why wouldn't you?
Richard: You're right, you would. Fire!
Labels: Top Gear
08 August 2009
Top Gear
23 April 2009
Quote of the Week
From Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear:
"The funniest thing about the government, to me, is that they recently decided to judge how much company car tax you pay on how much carbon dioxide comes out of the back. What a stupid thing! It's not a killer gas. Look, we've got this chart here. And this shows where carbon dioxide comes from. 95.5% comes from nature! Do they go around taxing farmers for their flocks of cows? Do they tax Mt. Etna every time it blows? That is ridiculous! Only this little orange sliver here comes from man. And of that, 34% from power stations -- people charging up their electric cars! And then you've got 14% from "domestic" use. Potterton's boilers: tax them! Put them out of business! Because look what they're doing. Only 13% of that little tiny bit there comes from cars. Ridiculous. But, we have the rules, and it's our job on Top Gear to show you a way around them."
"The funniest thing about the government, to me, is that they recently decided to judge how much company car tax you pay on how much carbon dioxide comes out of the back. What a stupid thing! It's not a killer gas. Look, we've got this chart here. And this shows where carbon dioxide comes from. 95.5% comes from nature! Do they go around taxing farmers for their flocks of cows? Do they tax Mt. Etna every time it blows? That is ridiculous! Only this little orange sliver here comes from man. And of that, 34% from power stations -- people charging up their electric cars! And then you've got 14% from "domestic" use. Potterton's boilers: tax them! Put them out of business! Because look what they're doing. Only 13% of that little tiny bit there comes from cars. Ridiculous. But, we have the rules, and it's our job on Top Gear to show you a way around them."
Labels: Top Gear
23 March 2009
Quote of the Week
On Top Gear, Jeremy and James were reviewing communist-made cars. They were driving a Land Rover-type vehicle...
[voice over]: It had coil springs, not the RSJ's you got in Land Rovers of the time, so it was surprisingly comfortable.
Jeremy [to James]: You know, I once drove one of these down a very heavily rutted track at 50 miles an hour, and I was able to use the cigarette lighter because [the car] was so smooth, to light a cigarette. It was that smooth. I'd actually quite like to demonstrate that for you now, but unfortunately, we don't live in a free country
[voice over]: It had coil springs, not the RSJ's you got in Land Rovers of the time, so it was surprisingly comfortable.
Jeremy [to James]: You know, I once drove one of these down a very heavily rutted track at 50 miles an hour, and I was able to use the cigarette lighter because [the car] was so smooth, to light a cigarette. It was that smooth. I'd actually quite like to demonstrate that for you now, but unfortunately, we don't live in a free country
Labels: Top Gear
15 March 2008
Quote of the Week
I am totally obsessed with Top Gear. It's such a good show!
James May: Look at the sky above us -- it's fantastic!
Richard Hammond: This is a race!
James May: And we're winning, overall.
Richard Hammond: Apart from [the fact] that we're several hours behind Jeremy in his car.
Want to know the context? Watch these very awesome vids.
James May: Look at the sky above us -- it's fantastic!
Richard Hammond: This is a race!
James May: And we're winning, overall.
Richard Hammond: Apart from [the fact] that we're several hours behind Jeremy in his car.
Want to know the context? Watch these very awesome vids.
Labels: Top Gear
