30 May 2014
Quote of the Day: Made in Canada
From "Husband & Wife" (3.11):
William: You want us to make a video to boost staff morale?
Alan: Yeah. Morale in the office has been low ever since I canceled Christmas.
Susan: You canceled Christmas?
Alan: Yeah, well, last year.
William: And you say morale is low?
Alan: Well, I did reinstate it!
Susan: [sarcastically] Oh, that must have cheered everyone up.
William: So why the secrecy about the video?
Alan: Well, the last time I made a video for my staff it was to fire a bunch of them. If they find out I'm making another one they might get the wrong idea.
William: You want us to make a video to boost staff morale?
Alan: Yeah. Morale in the office has been low ever since I canceled Christmas.
Susan: You canceled Christmas?
Alan: Yeah, well, last year.
William: And you say morale is low?
Alan: Well, I did reinstate it!
Susan: [sarcastically] Oh, that must have cheered everyone up.
William: So why the secrecy about the video?
Alan: Well, the last time I made a video for my staff it was to fire a bunch of them. If they find out I'm making another one they might get the wrong idea.
Labels: Made in Canada
24 May 2014
Quote of the Day: Made in Canada
From "Acquisitions" (5.03):
[They realize that no one is watching the cable channel they bought...]
Victor: Why did we want a channel again?
Veronica: Good question.
Victor: Why would anyone want a channel?
Veronica: Better question.
Victor: Then why did I get a satellite dish?
Veronica: Because Richard got one.
Victor: Damn him.
[They realize that no one is watching the cable channel they bought...]
Victor: Why did we want a channel again?
Veronica: Good question.
Victor: Why would anyone want a channel?
Veronica: Better question.
Victor: Then why did I get a satellite dish?
Veronica: Because Richard got one.
Victor: Damn him.
Labels: Made in Canada
19 February 2012
Quote of the Day: Made in Canada
I really wish Made in Canada was available on DVD.
Veronica: What did you just do?
Alan: I just fired... [points] ...that guy that was just in here.
Veronica: Did you even know what he did?
Richard: Slacking off was what he did.
Victor: Big slacker; huge!
Veronica: Actually, he was my candidate for the new Human Resources Director.
But I don't think he's going to take the job, considering the fact that you just fired him.
Victor: Human Resources Director?
Richard: What do we need a Human Resources Director for?
Veronica: To stop people from quitting.
Richard: Well, firing them is one way.
Veronica: What did you just do?
Alan: I just fired... [points] ...that guy that was just in here.
Veronica: Did you even know what he did?
Richard: Slacking off was what he did.
Victor: Big slacker; huge!
Veronica: Actually, he was my candidate for the new Human Resources Director.
But I don't think he's going to take the job, considering the fact that you just fired him.
Victor: Human Resources Director?
Richard: What do we need a Human Resources Director for?
Veronica: To stop people from quitting.
Richard: Well, firing them is one way.
Labels: Made in Canada
01 May 2010
Quote of the Day: Made in Canada
Richard: What?
Wanda: Nothing.
Richard: You've got that look on your face.
Wanda: No, I don't.
Richard: Yes, you do.
Wanda: What look?
Richard: That look you get when there's something terribly wrong, and then I say "What's wrong?" and you say "Nothing" and then I go in the board room and I find out someone's in jail.
Wanda: Nothing.
Richard: You've got that look on your face.
Wanda: No, I don't.
Richard: Yes, you do.
Wanda: What look?
Richard: That look you get when there's something terribly wrong, and then I say "What's wrong?" and you say "Nothing" and then I go in the board room and I find out someone's in jail.
Labels: Made in Canada
22 August 2009
Quote of the Week
I'm almost out of Made in Canada episodes. :( That's ok, though. Then I can start re-watching Dollhouse!
Anyway, here's some more Made in Canada:
Wanda: Maybe I could be a vice president [like you]?
Richard: No, you can't be a vice president.
Wanda: You don't think I'm smart enough! I know how things work; I know how things go around here.
Richard: I know you're smart. There's a very good reason why you can't be a vice president.
Wanda: And what's that?
Richard: You have too many skills. In show business, you fail up. You don't fail down.
Wanda: But that's not fair.
Richard: I know. But I figured that out early, so I just did everything poorly until I was elevated to a position to accommodate my incompetence.
Wanda: So you're saying you're totally incompetent.
Richard: Luckily, yes.
Anyway, here's some more Made in Canada:
Wanda: Maybe I could be a vice president [like you]?
Richard: No, you can't be a vice president.
Wanda: You don't think I'm smart enough! I know how things work; I know how things go around here.
Richard: I know you're smart. There's a very good reason why you can't be a vice president.
Wanda: And what's that?
Richard: You have too many skills. In show business, you fail up. You don't fail down.
Wanda: But that's not fair.
Richard: I know. But I figured that out early, so I just did everything poorly until I was elevated to a position to accommodate my incompetence.
Wanda: So you're saying you're totally incompetent.
Richard: Luckily, yes.
Labels: Made in Canada
10 August 2009
Quote of the Week
I accidentally started re-watching my old Made in Canada tapes. (I really wish it was available on DVD. Season one used to be available in Canada, but isn't anymore, and none of the later seasons were ever on DVD. Alas!)
Anyway, here's one of Richard's monologues:
"Merging two companies together is a lot harder than it looks. The people who have been there remind us how important it is to respect each other's differences. 'What goes around, comes around.' and 'Be nice to people on the way up, because you are going to pass them on the way down.' That's fine. That's good advice. [But] where's the fun in that?"
Anyway, here's one of Richard's monologues:
"Merging two companies together is a lot harder than it looks. The people who have been there remind us how important it is to respect each other's differences. 'What goes around, comes around.' and 'Be nice to people on the way up, because you are going to pass them on the way down.' That's fine. That's good advice. [But] where's the fun in that?"
Labels: Made in Canada
21 March 2007
Quote of the Week
On "Made in Canada", Colin is giving a presentation to Alan -- the head of a production company -- about a focus group survey he conducted:
Alan: So, Colin, the people in these focus groups: Who are they? Can we trust them?
Colin: I think so.
Alan: Do we have names [and] addresses? Just in case.
Colin: Yes. The members of the focus group were all recruited at shopping malls.
Alan: Malls -- excellent!
Colin: Mall people are your people.
Alan: Of course. I've been in one, you know.
Colin: The candidates were all approached -- at random -- and asked whether they would like to spend the entire day watching television and answer some questions, for $5 and some potato chips.
Alan: Five bucks? Isn't that a little extravagant?
Colin: No, no, no. Five dollars is key. The low compensation actually works to screen out those candidates that might have something more useful to do. This guarantees the target audience that we're pulling for.
Alan: Yeah. No smart-ass brainiacs.
Colin: Well, some guy with a B.A. slipped through.
Alan: No, no, no! These people ruin everything.
Colin: But we caught him using a word with three syllables, and we had that person removed from the study.
Alan: Good. Excellent.
Alan: So, Colin, the people in these focus groups: Who are they? Can we trust them?
Colin: I think so.
Alan: Do we have names [and] addresses? Just in case.
Colin: Yes. The members of the focus group were all recruited at shopping malls.
Alan: Malls -- excellent!
Colin: Mall people are your people.
Alan: Of course. I've been in one, you know.
Colin: The candidates were all approached -- at random -- and asked whether they would like to spend the entire day watching television and answer some questions, for $5 and some potato chips.
Alan: Five bucks? Isn't that a little extravagant?
Colin: No, no, no. Five dollars is key. The low compensation actually works to screen out those candidates that might have something more useful to do. This guarantees the target audience that we're pulling for.
Alan: Yeah. No smart-ass brainiacs.
Colin: Well, some guy with a B.A. slipped through.
Alan: No, no, no! These people ruin everything.
Colin: But we caught him using a word with three syllables, and we had that person removed from the study.
Alan: Good. Excellent.
Labels: Made in Canada
