Catching Ducks

The Harry Potter books, from the perspective of his classmates:


"The Year Harry Potter and His Dumb Friends Broke All the Rules and Dumbledore Gave Them a Bunch of House Points for It"

"The Year Harry Potter Mysteriously Started Talking to Snakes and Then Suddenly a Giant Effing Snake Started Trying To Kill All the Muggleborns"

"The Year a Murderer Broke Into the Castle To Kill Harry Potter and We Had To Sleep on the Floor While Soul-Sucking Monsters Floated Around"

"The Year Harry Potter Showed Up Holding the Corpse of a Fellow Student and They Gave Him a Bunch of Money"

"The Year Dumbledore Vouched for Harry Potter's Stupid Illegal Club and We Got Stuck with Umbridge During the Most Important Test of Our Short Lives"

"The Year Harry Potter Was Found with Another Freaking Dead Body and All of a Sudden We Woke Up and Had To Fight in Our Pajamas"

"The Year Harry Potter Wasn't Even Here and We Still Had to Have Another Middle-of-the-Night Battle Against the Dark Lord Who of Course Came To Kill Harry Potter"

Labels: Harry Potter

Some helpful soul on Tumblr made this awesome height chart. They took actors/characters from some of the most popular fandoms (Supernatural, Sherlock, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, etc.) and sorted them by height. The results are fascinating and occasionally startling.

I wasn't surprised to see Sam Winchester (Supernatural) at the top. That actor is very tall.

There are two Doctor Who companions (Martha & Clara) at the very bottom of the chart.

Harry Potter is actually an inch shorter than Hermione, and Ron is 4" taller than she is. (Those are all Harry Potter characters, if you're not familiar with the books/movies.)

Watson (Sherlock) is actually the same height as Hermione!

River Song (Doctor Who) is the same height as Ironman (Robert Downey Jr).

Amy Pond, Rory, and the Eleventh Doctor (Doctor Who) are all the same height (5'11").

The very top of the chart is taken over by the brothers from Avengers (Loki 6'2" & Thor 6'3") and Supernatural (Sam 6'4" & Dean 6'2").


Here's where it really gets really fun, though: I start comparing their heights to (female) basketball players.

Breanna Stewart (UConn) is the same height as Sam Winchester -- the top of the chart. Stefanie Dolson (UConn) is an inch taller. Lauren Jackson (Storm) is two inches taller. Holy cow!

Even guards suddenly seem tall. Kelly Faris (UConn...well, Connecticut Sun now) is 5'11", the same as Amy, Rory, and the Eleventh Doctor. Even itty-bitty Moriah Jefferson (UConn) is the same height as Donna (Doctor Who)!

Labels: Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Seattle Storm, Sherlock, Supernatural, UConn basketball

From the notes on this post, a re-titling of the Harry Potter books:


Hermione Granger and “That Time I Used the Power of Research and Deductive Reasoning to Make Sure Harry Didn’t Die”

Hermione Granger and “That time I figured shit out and literally ended up petrified for the cause and it took my friends weeks to figure out that I had the research on me”

Hermione Granger and “That Time I Was a Time Lord”

Hermione Granger and “That Time I Realized I was Hot and Smart and Saved Harry’s Ass with Research. Again. All the Time. Really, He Would Have Died Without Me.”

Hermione Granger and “That time Harry was too emo to actually do shit so I did shit in his name because I am the power behind the throne clearly also PS fought evil deatheaters and won”

Hermione Granger and “That Time I told Harry about the Dangers of Copying off Somebody’s else’s work that wasn’t mine and OH LOOK I WAS RIGHT”

Hermione Granger and “That Time I let Harry Decide Where to Go and What To do and we ended up wandering the forests of dean for like 5 months before saving his ass at Hogwarts”

Labels: Harry Potter

Seen here:


"If you ever think you’ve made bad decisions just remember what it must feel like to be one of the 12 publishers that turned down Harry Potter."

Labels: Harry Potter

From Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince, by J.K. Rowling:


Harry: Ginny, listen... I can't be involved with you anymore. We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together.

Ginny: It's for some stupid, noble reason, isn't it?

Labels: Harry Potter

From Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, by J.K. Rowling:


Cornelius Fudge: You will now be escorted back to the Ministry, where you will be formally charged, then sent to Azkaban [Prison] to await trial!

Albus Dumbledore: Ah. Yes. Yes, I thought we might hit that little snag.

Cornelius Fudge: Snag? I see no snag, Dumbledore!

Albus Dumbledore: Well, I'm afraid I do.

Cornelius Fudge: Oh, really?

Albus Dumbledore: Well -- it's just that you seem to be labouring under the delusion that I am going to -- what is the phrase? -- come quietly. I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course - but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing.

Labels: Harry Potter

From book 1 (Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone), by J.K. Rowling, here's Headmaster Dumbledore at the beginning-of-the-school-year banquet:


"Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you."

Labels: Harry Potter