Catching Ducks

I checked my email. I signed out. The Comcast homepage came up (as it always does when I sign out of my email account). There was all sorts of random news and "news" items on it.

This one caught my eye: "5 Items Every Woman Should Own At Any Age".

I assumed they meant that there were five clothing items that a woman should always own. I thought that might be vaguely interesting, so I clicked on it.

Yikes!

It's a list of the five item they think a woman should own for each decade of her life.

First up, her 20's:

1) sparkly dress
2) leather jacket
3) oxfords (the shoes they picture are silver!)
4) cross-body bag (i.e. a purse with a long strap that can be worn across the body)
5) monogram necklace (WHAT?!?!!)


Next, her 30's:

1) leather pants
2) wrap coat
3) baroque platforms (apparently a type of high-heeled shoe?)
4) investment bag (because it costs more than $1k, it's an investment to buy one...)
5) statement cuff (i.e. a really ugly, chunky bracelet)


Next up, her 40's:

1) killer sheath (sadly, this is a type of dress, not a place to put a knife.)
2) faux fur vest (First: tacky. Second: leather is ok, but not real fur?)
3) point-toe pumps
4) bright clutch
5) cocktail ring


Finally, her 50's:

1) pencil skirt
2) cashmere poncho (Don't forget: "Just pair it with tailored bottoms." Helpful!)
3) knee-high boots
4) contoured belt (so you can give yourself a waist underneath your cashmere poncho!)
5) statement necklace


I think what bothers me the most is that the title of the article implied (to me, at least) that it would be practical advice. To find this nonsense masquerading as helpful advice really irks me.

Labels: clothes, random weirdness