Catching Ducks

This week's quote is from P.J. O'Rourke's 1990 essay "Return of the Death of Communism", which is about the Nicaraguan elections:



Like most readers of papers and watchers of newscasts, I thought the Sandinistas were supposed to win this one. I'm a member of the working press; you'd think I'd know know better than to listen to journalists. But there's a little big of the pigeon in every good confidence man. I even believed the February 21st ABC-Washington Post poll that had Ortega leading Chamorro by sixteen percentage points. That is -- I blush to admit this -- I accepted the results of an opinion poll taken in a country where it was illegal to hold certain opinions. You can imagine the poll-taking process: "Hello, Mr. Peasant, I'm an inquisitive and frightening stranger. God knows who I work for. Would you care to obstensibly support the dictatorship which controls every facet of your existence, or shall we put you down as in favor of the UNO opposition and just tear up your ration card right here and now?"

Labels: P.J. O'Rourke

If the bus you're trying to catch is early (causing you to miss it), the next bus will be late.

Labels: travel

This week: Miss Alli recapping The Amazing Race for televisionwithoutpity.com:


Next to arrive at the ferry are Charla and Mirna and Jim and Marsha, who share a boat ride. Back on land, however, Brandon and Nicole and Linda and Karen are still on foot. Nicole whines that they've fallen behind, and -- yes ladies and gentlemen, in the very first leg -- she has already handed over her backpack and he's carrying both. I really think that if you can't carry a backpack through the first leg, this might not be the game for you. She says she thinks they should "focus on making smart decisions", and he just says, "I need you to support me, Nic." She protests that she needs for him to include her. In an interview in which he is actually patting her shoulder like she's an anxious dog in need of sedation, Brandon says, "What Nicki needs to understand is that we're trusting the Lord, and he's going to protect us, and just trust that God's got our best in mind." Oh...sheesh. You know, I generally believe in retiring jokes after a reasonable period of time, so I would have anticipated letting poor wrinkly God bathe in peace for all eternity. We've done the shirts, we've shaken our heads... you know the drill. It is things like the idea that you can freely either walk or take a taxi because God will make sure it doesn't cause you to lose that send my blood pressure soaring. God keeping you safe? Sure. God helping you deal with stressful situations? Okay. But God having a hand in whether you walk or take a taxi? No. Just, no. Just because it's old doesn't mean it isn't still true, Brandon: God really is in the tub.

Labels: The Amazing Race

You know what else is awesome? Peanut Roca!!

I used to love Almond Roca, but then I developed a nut allergy and couldn't eat it anymore. Very annoying.

Brown & Haley came out with some new versions, like Cashew Roca (which was just mean -- cashews were my favorite nuts!), but I still couldn't eat any.

But now they have Peanut Roca. I can eat peanuts!! Yay!! Between Peanut Roca and Peanut Butter Mountain Bars, Brown & Haley is officially my favorite candy company. Yum!!

I just love the history channel! They have the most random programs on. I've seen the history of novelty ice creams, the history of candy, the history of hot dogs.... Today they had a show about mechanical harvesters. Awesome!

So.

There was one team I was rooting for.

One team I wouldn't have minded winning.

And one team I really, really, REALLY didn't want to win.

Guess which one won?

Bah.

This week's quote is from Ani DiFranco's song "Fixing Her Hair":


she's looking in the mirror
she's fixing her hair
and I touch my head
to feel what isn't there
she's humming a melody
we learned in grade school
she's so happy and I think
this is not cool
'cause I know the guy
she's been talking about
I have met him before
and I think what is this
beautiful woman settling for

she bends her breath
when she talks to him
I can see her features begin to blur
as she pours herself
into the mold he made for her
and for everything he does
she has a way to rationalize
she tells me he don't mean
what he do
she tells me he called
to apologize

she still doesn't have what she deserves
but she wakes up smiling every day
she never really expected more
that's just not the way
we are raised
and I say to her
you know, there's plenty
of really great men out there
but she doesn't hear me
she's looking in the mirror
she's fixing her hair

Labels: ani difranco

Why is Mr. Krab's daughter a whale?

This is kind of fun: Literature Map.

You enter the name of an author you like, and it gives you a map of other authors that are recommended. The closer the name is to the one you entered, the more recommended they are.

What's kind of funny is that when I entered (one of my favorite authors) Steven Brust, I got Stephen Brust, CJ Cherryh, C.J. Cherryh, Lois Bujold, and Lois McMaster Bujold. I think there's a few flaws!

This week, a poem by Anne Sexton called "I Remember":


By the first of August
the invisible beetles began
to snore and the grass was
as tough as hemp and was
no color -- no more than
the sand was a color and
we had worn our bare feet
bare since the twentieth
of June and there were times
we forgot to wind up our
alarm clock and some nights
we took our gin warm and neat
from old jelly glasses while
the sun blew out of sight
like a red picture hat and
one day I tied my hair back
with a ribbon and you said
that I looked almost like
a purtian lady and what
I remember best is that
the door your room was
the door to mine.

Labels: poetry

The Sci-Fi channel is currently airing a Law & Order: SVU marathon. Huh?

I've been watching "A Bit of Fry & Laurie" this week, so this week's quote is one of their sketches:


[Fry and Laurie run into the studio audience]

Laurie: Anarchy!
Fry: Anarchy!
Laurie: Anarchy!
Fry: Anarchy!
Laurie: We believe in anarchy!
Fry: We believe in anarchy!
Laurie: God is dead!
Fry: God! Is dead!
Laurie: We don't believe in God!
Fry: We don't believe in God!
Laurie: Long live the god of anarchy!
Fry: Long live the god of anarchy!
Laurie: Who... we don't believe in...
Fry: No.
Laurie: In fact, we don't believe in anarchy!
Fry: Down with anarchy!
Laurie: Down with anarchy!
Fry: We don't believe in anarchy!
Laurie: So we're sorry to have bothered you!
Fry: Sorry to have bothered you!
Laurie: Bye...
Fry: Bye...