10 February 2015
Paraphrasing Downton
From Tom & Lorenzo, episode 5.06:
Molesley: There’s a telegram for Lady Edith.
Mrs. Hughes: Oh, shit.
Mr. Carson: Oh, shit.
Robert: Oh, shit.
Cora: Oh, shit.
Mary: My hair. Is it alluring enough, do you think?
Bates: Let’s make a baby right here in the kitchen.
Anna: Stop, you silly murd- I mean – uh, mug. You silly mug.
Bates: We’ll have a son and name him after my father, Norman.
Robert: So, Gregson is dead.
Cora: Poor Edith. How did she ta-
Robert: She tore the drapes off the dining room windows in rage and screamed like a banshee in heat. She stabbed Isis with an oyster fork and gave Daisy a black eye before retreating to her charred ruin of a bedroom, where she’s been curled up on the floor, wailing softly to herself ever since.
Cora: Mmm. *goes back to reading mail*
Robert: I feel like a walk.
Thomas: Psst. Baxter. Wanna see something?
Baxter: Dear God in heaven, what have you been doing?
Thomas: Butt injections!
Dr. Clarkson: AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Someday in the future, perhaps men who practice butt injections can serve in the military and adopt foreign babies, but for now, you should probably just quietly loathe yourself and plot schemes against people.
Anna: Stop going through my things. You don’t want to know the things I do to stay fresh.
Bates: You bought a lady thingy because you think I’m a murderer.
Anna: That doesn’t even make sense.
Bates: I’m not a murderer.
Anna: I know you didn’t kill your ex-wife.
Bates: Not her. The other murder.
Anna: I’m getting confused. Let me get my notes.
The Dowager Countess: Igor, I found your wife whoring herself out in Hong Kong.
Count Chocula: Clearly, she’s been spoiled for life. Dead to me. Let’s make love on my dirty bed like only octogenarians can.
The Dowager Countess: Oh, you.
Robert: I’m a whiny-ass titty-baby and I’m going to stay right here in this tiny little bed.
Cora: Fine, but you’ll be getting handjobs from chamber maids for the rest of your life if you don’t haul ass back to our bed, Mister.
Robert: On second thought...
Molesley: Daisy, I noticed you can read now. I can read too! Here’s one of my books.
Daisy: I’m not supposed to accept books from strangers.
Mrs. Patmore: You’ve been working with him for 15 years, ye daft bitch.
Mary: Everyone look at my hair!
Cora: Gosh, I wish I was young like you!
Isobel: Brava!
Robert: Your dead sister would be appalled.
Violet: Lesbian.
Rose: Mary, have you met my Jew?
Atticus: I say –
Edith: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*runs out of the room, her screams echoing off the walls*
Cora: Poor dear.
Mary: Back to me, please.
Cora: It’s so shiny!
Spratt: Cow.
Denker: Poof.
Lord Sinderby: Hmmph. Nice to jew meet you all. Jew.
Robert: Yes, wonderful to meet jew.
Lady Sinderby: How lovely to see jew again, Rose.
Atticus: Mummy! Don’t I sound just like Prince William?
Lord Sinderby: Like a Jewish Prince William.
Mabel Lane Fox: I’d just as soon see a knife stuck out from between your shoulder blades, but I must say, I admire you for getting a haircut.
Mary: Like everything I do, it was to punish the men around me.
Mabel Lane Fox: You’re fucking awesome.
Mary: I know. Let’s ride.
Mrs: Drewe: You’re just gonna let this stroppy bitch take our daughter?
Farmer Drewe: Know your place, woman. She owns our asses.
Edith: I say, I know this must be terribly inconvenient for you, but you see I feel badly right now and I —
Mrs. Drewe: SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!
Edith: Right. I’m off, then. I’ll just be taking this with me.
Marigold: I think I’d rather grow up poor.
Tom: Edith is beside herself with grief and has run away.
Robert: What?!? Why, that’s —
Cora: Oh my God, what’s wrong with Isis?
Robert: ISIS! MY DARLING DOG! SOMEONE HELP HER!
Molesley: There’s a telegram for Lady Edith.
Mrs. Hughes: Oh, shit.
Mr. Carson: Oh, shit.
Robert: Oh, shit.
Cora: Oh, shit.
Mary: My hair. Is it alluring enough, do you think?
Bates: Let’s make a baby right here in the kitchen.
Anna: Stop, you silly murd- I mean – uh, mug. You silly mug.
Bates: We’ll have a son and name him after my father, Norman.
Robert: So, Gregson is dead.
Cora: Poor Edith. How did she ta-
Robert: She tore the drapes off the dining room windows in rage and screamed like a banshee in heat. She stabbed Isis with an oyster fork and gave Daisy a black eye before retreating to her charred ruin of a bedroom, where she’s been curled up on the floor, wailing softly to herself ever since.
Cora: Mmm. *goes back to reading mail*
Robert: I feel like a walk.
Thomas: Psst. Baxter. Wanna see something?
Baxter: Dear God in heaven, what have you been doing?
Thomas: Butt injections!
Dr. Clarkson: AND THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Someday in the future, perhaps men who practice butt injections can serve in the military and adopt foreign babies, but for now, you should probably just quietly loathe yourself and plot schemes against people.
Anna: Stop going through my things. You don’t want to know the things I do to stay fresh.
Bates: You bought a lady thingy because you think I’m a murderer.
Anna: That doesn’t even make sense.
Bates: I’m not a murderer.
Anna: I know you didn’t kill your ex-wife.
Bates: Not her. The other murder.
Anna: I’m getting confused. Let me get my notes.
The Dowager Countess: Igor, I found your wife whoring herself out in Hong Kong.
Count Chocula: Clearly, she’s been spoiled for life. Dead to me. Let’s make love on my dirty bed like only octogenarians can.
The Dowager Countess: Oh, you.
Robert: I’m a whiny-ass titty-baby and I’m going to stay right here in this tiny little bed.
Cora: Fine, but you’ll be getting handjobs from chamber maids for the rest of your life if you don’t haul ass back to our bed, Mister.
Robert: On second thought...
Molesley: Daisy, I noticed you can read now. I can read too! Here’s one of my books.
Daisy: I’m not supposed to accept books from strangers.
Mrs. Patmore: You’ve been working with him for 15 years, ye daft bitch.
Mary: Everyone look at my hair!
Cora: Gosh, I wish I was young like you!
Isobel: Brava!
Robert: Your dead sister would be appalled.
Violet: Lesbian.
Rose: Mary, have you met my Jew?
Atticus: I say –
Edith: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*runs out of the room, her screams echoing off the walls*
Cora: Poor dear.
Mary: Back to me, please.
Cora: It’s so shiny!
Spratt: Cow.
Denker: Poof.
Lord Sinderby: Hmmph. Nice to jew meet you all. Jew.
Robert: Yes, wonderful to meet jew.
Lady Sinderby: How lovely to see jew again, Rose.
Atticus: Mummy! Don’t I sound just like Prince William?
Lord Sinderby: Like a Jewish Prince William.
Mabel Lane Fox: I’d just as soon see a knife stuck out from between your shoulder blades, but I must say, I admire you for getting a haircut.
Mary: Like everything I do, it was to punish the men around me.
Mabel Lane Fox: You’re fucking awesome.
Mary: I know. Let’s ride.
Mrs: Drewe: You’re just gonna let this stroppy bitch take our daughter?
Farmer Drewe: Know your place, woman. She owns our asses.
Edith: I say, I know this must be terribly inconvenient for you, but you see I feel badly right now and I —
Mrs. Drewe: SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!
Edith: Right. I’m off, then. I’ll just be taking this with me.
Marigold: I think I’d rather grow up poor.
Tom: Edith is beside herself with grief and has run away.
Robert: What?!? Why, that’s —
Cora: Oh my God, what’s wrong with Isis?
Robert: ISIS! MY DARLING DOG! SOMEONE HELP HER!
Labels: Downton Abbey
08 February 2015
Downton What?
23 June 2013
Downton Abbey ... with Zombies!
30 May 2013
Quote of the Day: Downton Abbey
From the fourth episode of season three:
[Mary & Edith's sister has died.]
Mary: She was the only person living who always thought you and I were such nice people.
Edith: Oh Mary. Do you think we might get along a little better in the future?
Mary: I doubt it.
[Mary & Edith's sister has died.]
Mary: She was the only person living who always thought you and I were such nice people.
Edith: Oh Mary. Do you think we might get along a little better in the future?
Mary: I doubt it.
Labels: Downton Abbey
08 January 2013
Quote of the Day: Downton Abbey
From the Christmas special (2.9):
Sir Richard: I'm leaving the morning Lady Grantham, I doubt we'll meet again.
Lady Grantham: Do you promise?
Sir Richard: I'm leaving the morning Lady Grantham, I doubt we'll meet again.
Lady Grantham: Do you promise?
Labels: Downton Abbey
21 December 2012
Gingerbread Downton
This dude made a replica of the mansion / manor / house from Downton Abbey
out of gingerbread! Here's a cool timelapse video of how he did it.
[h/t GoFugYourself]
out of gingerbread! Here's a cool timelapse video of how he did it.
[h/t GoFugYourself]
Labels: Downton Abbey, holidays
05 September 2012
Downton Abbey, Series 3
21 April 2012
Quote of the Day: Downton Abbey
From episode 1.3:
Lady Grantham: Apparently, he's bringing a friend with him -- an attache at the Turkish embassy -- a Mister Kemal Pamuk. He's the son of one of the Sultan's ministers, and he's here for the Albanian talks.
Lady Mary: And what's that?
Lady Edith: To create an independent Albania. Don't you read the papers?
Lady Mary: I'm too busy living a life.
Lady Grantham: Apparently, he's bringing a friend with him -- an attache at the Turkish embassy -- a Mister Kemal Pamuk. He's the son of one of the Sultan's ministers, and he's here for the Albanian talks.
Lady Mary: And what's that?
Lady Edith: To create an independent Albania. Don't you read the papers?
Lady Mary: I'm too busy living a life.
Labels: Downton Abbey
04 February 2012
Downton Abbey, In Modern Clothes!
This site has a bunch of pictures of the cast of Downton Abbey out and about in their normal life clothes. I think "Mrs. Hughes" (Phyllis Logan) was the most unrecognizable for me!
[h/t Go Fug Yourself]
[h/t Go Fug Yourself]
Labels: Downton Abbey
11 January 2012
Quote of the Day: Downton Abbey
From the fifth episode of the first season:
The Dowager Countess: You are quite wonderful, the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
Isobel Crawley: I take that as a compliment.
The Dowager Countess: I must have said it wrong.
The Dowager Countess: You are quite wonderful, the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
Isobel Crawley: I take that as a compliment.
The Dowager Countess: I must have said it wrong.
Labels: Downton Abbey
09 January 2012
Downton Abbey Is Back!
The first episode of the new season aired last night, but I haven't watched it yet.
It's getting hard to avoid spoilers.
I'd better go watch!
It's getting hard to avoid spoilers.
I'd better go watch!
Labels: Downton Abbey
21 December 2011
Downton Abbey
Some of the cast was in New York to do a Q&A and screen the first episode of season two.
TLo (who I started reading for their Project Runway recaps/commentary) went to the screening and have of lots of dish. There's also a video of the cast talking about the reception in America.
Season two will premiere January 8th! Hooray and Huzzah!
p.s. If you missed season one, KCTS will be re-airing the full series on Christmas Day, from 6pm to midnight. I highly recommend recording it!!
TLo (who I started reading for their Project Runway recaps/commentary) went to the screening and have of lots of dish. There's also a video of the cast talking about the reception in America.
Season two will premiere January 8th! Hooray and Huzzah!
p.s. If you missed season one, KCTS will be re-airing the full series on Christmas Day, from 6pm to midnight. I highly recommend recording it!!
Labels: Downton Abbey
