Catching Ducks

I'm so excited that Red vs. Blue is back!


Simmons: The Blues are completely undermanned right now. [...] It looks like they have received no reinforcements since the last mission. I need to double-check my numbers, but if it's just Caboose over there, that means we have a four man advantage!

Grif: Ooh! What part do you need to double-check? Is it the part where you counted their guys, or the part where you counted our guys? 'Cause they both sound really tough.

Simmons: Shut up, Grif, no one's talking to you.

Grif: Or, maybe, it was the part where you subtracted one from five! Math can be hard. Hey, Lopez!

Lopez: Si.

Grif: Fire up your calculator unit, we got a doozy!

Sarge: He can't do that. I had to remove that application in order to install a new free app I downloaded. It's a program that could be vital to the morale here at our new base.

Lopez [subtitled]: It makes fart noises.

Sarge: I don't want to spoil it for you boys, but let's just say it's high-larious.

Lopez [subtitled]: Let's just say you're an idiot.

Grif: [to Simmons] Actually, you do need to recount. We don't have five guys, we only have four.

Simmons: We got Donut back.

Grif: You can't count Donut!

Simmons: Why not? He's unconscious right now, but when he wakes up...

Grif: Unconscious? He's been out for three days! I think it's okay to upgrade him to comatose.

Simmons: Well, I think we should count everyone. I'm an equal-opportunity counter.

Grif: Yeah. Because I'd hate to go into battle without Donut.

Simmons: I mean, hell. If I'm counting you as a soldier, I should count the vehicles, some of the bigger rocks we have lying around here... Fuck it, let's give the trashcan a gun!

Grif: At least I can subtract five and one without double-checking!

Labels: Red vs. Blue