Catching Ducks

I recently re-watched my Red vs. Blue DVDs, and it got me thinking about the first scenes I ever saw, including this bit:



Donut: Halt! Who goes there?

Simmons: Donut, it's me.

Donut: Oh right, you. What do you want?

Simmons: I want to talk to Sarge. I just found out some info -- Wait, why am I answering your questions?

[Simmons starts to enter the base.]

Donut: I said hold it!

Simmons: What's your problem, Donut?

Donut: Sarge told me not to let anyone into the base, and I'm pretty sure that "anyone" includes the enemy.

Simmons: I'm not the enemy.

Donut: Oh, please. You're dressed in blue! FYI, there's kind of a theme around here. You're blue, I'm red.

Simmons: More like pink.

Donut: I have a gun.

Simmons: Ok, ok. I only dressed like this to trick the blues.

Donut: You help the blues.

Simmons: And fool them!

Donut: You knocked Sarge out. Twice!

Simmons: Once again, Donut, to fool the blues. [pause] And to work out some unresolved issues with father figures. But look, just go ask Sarge. He knows it's me. Hell, even Grif knows it's me.

Donut: Oh, sure. Everyone knows who you are but me.

Simmons: No, the blues don't know either.

Sarge: What's all this racket?

Donut: There's an enemy trying to get into the base.

Sarge: Where?

Donut: Right there.

Sarge:: Where? Behind Simmons?

Simmons: He means me, sir.

Donut: Ohhh! Simmons! Why didn't you tell me it was you?

Simmons: Donut, I did tell me it was me.

Donut: Well, you didn't say it was you. You just kept saying "I'm me".

Simmons: I AM me!

Donut: But you didn't say you were you. If you had said you were you instead of I'm me, I would have known that you were you. You just kept saying you were me.

Simmons: That's because I'm me.

Grif: And thus ends another meeting of the pronoun club. Same time next week, everybody!

Labels: Red vs. Blue