26 September 2009
Quote of the Week
In honor of my computer problems, here's a bit from Cracked.com on "The Most Ridiculously Awful Computers Ever Made".
The Apple III, while aesthetically as retarded as any computer from the 80s, had the problem of trying to cram a whole lot of computer into a relatively small space. Which is totally in the spirit of cutting-edge Apple, only this is 1980 we're talking about here. As we mentioned, this was a time when any computer powerful enough to display a photograph required a crew of 30 men to stand in a circle and blow on it.
Nowadays, computers have internal cooling fans and heat sinks all over them to take care of this. Back in the 80s the Apple crew figured that shit was for pussies, so the aluminum case was meant to act as a heat sink; devoid of a fan or even vents. If you've ever tried to escape the summer heat by climbing into an unventilated aluminum box you'll understand why this was a shittastic idea.
The result was that chips would actually pop free from their sockets as the metal heated and expanded. Machine owners experiencing problems were given the most awesome set of troubleshooting instructions in the history of computing: Lift the dead machine a few inches of the ground and drop it. Turn it on and see if it works.
The hope was that the impact would seat the chips again. That's right. When Apple Computer, Inc., designer of some of the most elegant machines in the history of anything, got calls from thousands of customers that their new computer had died, their first question was, "Have you tried dropping it?"
The Apple III, while aesthetically as retarded as any computer from the 80s, had the problem of trying to cram a whole lot of computer into a relatively small space. Which is totally in the spirit of cutting-edge Apple, only this is 1980 we're talking about here. As we mentioned, this was a time when any computer powerful enough to display a photograph required a crew of 30 men to stand in a circle and blow on it.
Nowadays, computers have internal cooling fans and heat sinks all over them to take care of this. Back in the 80s the Apple crew figured that shit was for pussies, so the aluminum case was meant to act as a heat sink; devoid of a fan or even vents. If you've ever tried to escape the summer heat by climbing into an unventilated aluminum box you'll understand why this was a shittastic idea.
The result was that chips would actually pop free from their sockets as the metal heated and expanded. Machine owners experiencing problems were given the most awesome set of troubleshooting instructions in the history of computing: Lift the dead machine a few inches of the ground and drop it. Turn it on and see if it works.
The hope was that the impact would seat the chips again. That's right. When Apple Computer, Inc., designer of some of the most elegant machines in the history of anything, got calls from thousands of customers that their new computer had died, their first question was, "Have you tried dropping it?"
Labels: computers
# posted by mamurd @ 11:42 PM 
