Catching Ducks

I love donuts.

There's a grocery store between my bus stop and my house, so I usually do my grocery shopping on the way home from work. Since I often work till closing, I get to the grocery store late enough that their bakery has boxed up the leftover donuts and priced them at $2/box. I love these boxes. I love passing by the case and seeing that I'm there late enough that they've been put out. I love opening up the case and poring over each box, trying to decide which one has the best selection. I love having a variey of donuts to eat for the next couple of days. It's awesome.

However, a while back I realized there there was usually only a couple of donuts in the box that I really, really liked, and there were often one or two that I couldn't stand to eat. I decided to only buy a box if it was The Perfect (or Near-Perfect) Box of Donuts. Every time I go to the store, I pass by the case to see if the boxes are out. If they are, I pore over them, hoping to find The Perfect Box.

Tonight, I found that box. All but one were my favorites, and that last one was a variety I consider edible. I noticed that all the boxes were missing their "reduced bakery" sticker and was annoyed that the boxes weren't sealed up (the stickers hold the boxes closed). I was annoyed, but I was still going to buy it, because it was The Perfect Box.

Having found The Perfect Box, I put back my (on sale for $2.50) package of Pepperidge Farms Double Dark Chocolate Crispy Cookies, and headed to the check-out line. [And by "put back", I mean I put it back where I found it, with the other ones. I do follow my own customer rules, you know!]

When I got the the register, the clerk looked at my box, and then asked me how many I had. Confused, I explained that it was the discount box. She asked me again, so I said I didn't know. As she counted up the donuts, I told her that all the discount boxes were lacking stickers tonight, but that they're usually $2. (I think it's actually $1.99, but whatever.) She was all, "Without a bakery sticker, I have to charge for each donut." She said this without a single note of a apology in her tone of voice. I declined to purchase them, and suggested that she tell someone the boxes need stickers.

As I walked home, fuming about the loss of The Perfect Box, I tried to think about it from the clerk's perspective, and I still found myself pissed off. While I understand her desire to stick the rules (I'm a bit of a rule-stickler myself), I think she could have done something to fix this situation -- call a manager, do a computer search for the "reduced bakery" code, whatever -- or at least pretended to be sympathetic. Additionally, it makes no business sense. Those donuts are pratically day-old, and the bakery people box them up for quick sale. Selling them at the same price they charge for fresh donuts is just dumb.

By the time I got home, I had finished mourning my loss of The Perfect Box of Donuts, and decided the universe was telling me not to eat them.

But still..... :(


[Aside to Tofutti Cutie: The lack of stickers made me think that perhaps a certain donut-maker we know had relocated north and been put in charge of the end-of-night bakery price reductions. Doesn't that just sound like something he would do? ;) ]