Catching Ducks

Rule #9: Get to the point!

ring, ring

Good afternoon, Jane's Boutique, how can I help you?

Hi! My sister went to, uh, Dallas last year? And she bought this hair clip thing? And, umm, it, you know, it's really cool, but I can't find it here, and she's not going back to Dallas again, because she was visiting her boyfriend's parents, but they broke up, so I really want to find it here, you know? I've looked all over for this thing, but I can't seem to, you know, find it anywhere? Do you have it?

What exactly is it?

Oh! It's really great. It's this great color of purple that totally matches my favorite shoes and it works really well in my hair, 'cause, you know, my hair's really fine so I have a hard time finding clips that work for me. You know?

Um... yes. What else can you tell me about it?

Well, my sister found it in this great store in downtown Dallas that she went to with her ex-boyfriend's mom and her sister, and she -- my sister, that is, not my sister's ex-boyfriend's mom's sister -- said the store was really great and had lots of cool stuff, and they had a bunch of these clips, and the sales clerk at the store said they were really great, especially for fine hair, which my sister has, too -- I guess it's a genetic thing, 'cause our mom has really fine hair, too -- so my sister bought a couple, and she loaned me the purple one and I really, really want to find another one, so do you carry them?

I'm not sure. We have several different types of hair clips. What exactly does it look like?

Well, it's made out of this weird wood with this cool pattern, but the thingy is metal and....

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AAARRGGHHHH!!!!!

I don't mind it when people describe the item they're looking for (assuming they don't know a name for it). It's the long-winded explanations that drive me batty. GET TO THE POINT!!! Tell me what you're looking for, and I'll tell you whether or not we have it. For example:

ring, ring

Good afternoon, Jane's Boutique, how can I help you?

Hi, do you have a purple trellip hair clip?

Yes, we do.

OR...

No, I'm sorry, we don't carry those.

OR...

Trellip hair clip? I'm not familiar with those. What do they look like?

Oh, well, they're wood, but the clip part is metal and....

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See how simple that is? See how much time you're saving us both? Just tell me what you're looking for. If I'm not familiar with it, I'll tell you that, and you can give me more information.

Don't tell me why you want it.
Don't tell me where you first saw it.
Don't tell me where you heard about it.
Don't tell me that you lost the first one and just have to replace it.
Don't tell me you loved it as a child and now want it for your kid.
Don't tell me that you just have to have it because your sister, who just had a baby, would love it, and you really want to get it for her because everyone's been focussing on the baby lately and you think she's been neglected and you remember how difficult it was when you had your first child who's going to be entering first grade next year and....

I. Don't. Care.

More importantly, it's irrelevant to whether or not we have the product. The fact that you need it desperately for your child's science project that he started this evening and is due tomorrow is not going change whether or not we have it. It's not like we're keeping a box of trellip clips behind the counter and waiting for the people who really "need" them, and hiding them from everyone else!! We either have it or we don't. Your life story isn't relevant.


(P.S. For those of you who have fine hair and purple shoes: I made up the "trellip clips".)